It's Suppertime!

hen I hear the song "Supper Time," I get that nostalgic feeling of home and childhood. Am I the only one who experiences that, or is it everyone? The words of the opening line, "When I was but a boy in days of childhood," have a way of bringing me back to the sights, sounds and smells that made our house a home. A place where my dad sat as king at the end of the table and where my mom fussed about making sure we all got enough to eat. Yes, it was a time of good food, a lot of chatter and hearty laughter.

It seems to me now (even though I would give a fortune to taste my mother's home-cooked meals once again) that having family meals was more about building relationships and bonding together than it was about eating.

Research still shows that family mealtimes are one of the best outlets for good communication and family stability.

How different it is for us today in our harried and hurried lives. We see a drastic decline in the amount of time families spend together. Nowadays, with microwave ovens and fast food, not to mention every type of modern media screaming for our attention, family meals are reduced to eating on the go and trying to fit in a quick bite between conflicting schedules. Between the busyness of parents working late, the blaring evening news and trying to juggle between homework, piano lessons and a host of other demands on our time, it is difficult for families to set aside meaningful mealtimes together anymore.

Despite the competing pressures and priorities that are making family suppertime a thing of the past, research still shows that family mealtimes are one of the best outlets for good communication and family stability.

Keeping in mind that family meals are most effective as a time of bonding, what can families do to make suppertime a more pleasant and rewarding experience?

Plan to have a home-cooked evening meal at least a couple of times a week (with no interruptions) until it becomes a family tradition. Other weekly or daily tasks can be planned around suppertime. Perhaps families could start with once a week and then increase that number as time goes on.

Remember when we all knew our places around the table? Eating supper on trays around the TV does not promote good communication like the dining room table.

Instead of rushing to catch the evening news, invest a few minutes after mealtime reminiscing about each family member's experiences, like:

Parents can take this opportunity to recall an action of their child's that made them proud. Mealtimes should be a time of pleasant conversing. It's amazing how much better food tastes when we accentuate the positive. After all, Philippians 4:8 tells us to think and meditate on positive things.

Having family meals was more about building relationships and bonding together than it was about eating.

Meals are a great learning time for younger children. They can practice the alphabet, multiplication tables, or spelling words. Vocabulary can also be reinforced by naming animals, famous people or places of the world. (A good time for this is while waiting for mom's delicious homemade dessert.) Be warned, though, that this practice may make your children smarter.

After eating, have everyone try to recall the events from your family's favorite vacation or outing. Find the old photos taken on the trip and recall the warm memories and laughter as you walk though those excursions once again.

I can still recall the laughter my sister and I shared not long ago around her table as we reminisced about our trips, in our dad's old 1964 station wagon, to the city of Corner Brook back when we were children. We didn't mind the flat tires, the overheated radiator or holes in the gas tank. All we remembered was how much fun we had when, by necessity, we had to get out of the vehicle and walk up the hills to lighten the load because the plugs failed and the old station wagon lost power. My dad, in his frustration and embarrassment, didn't find it very funny until the trip was over and we all arrived safely back home.

Don't just quickly recite familiar lines of repetition. Instead, really and sincerely thank our Heavenly Father for all of our blessings. Slow down the prayer so that each thought is emphasized. Better still, have each family member offer a short portion of prayer of things to be thankful for. You might even try singing your prayers or holding hands for variety. Saying a prayer at mealtimes can offer wonderful opportunities for guiding children (and adults too) to pray for specific circumstances in their lives and the lives of others. Jesus assures us in Luke 11:9 that God promises help to those who ask.

This list for family mealtime bonding serves only as a starting point in suggesting some meaningful ways of rediscovering the lost art of dining together. Perhaps the poet Edgar A. Guest summed it up best when he wrote the following lines regarding the importance of the family meal:

A tablecloth that's slightly soiled
Where greasy little hands have toiled;
The napkins kept in silver rings,
And only ordinary things
From which to eat, a simple fare,
And just the wife and kiddies there,
And while I serve, the clatter glad
Of little girl and little lad
Who have so very much to say,
About the happenings of the day.

Maybe it is once again time to reinvest in togetherness by taking the time to sit down and break bread together, around our own tables. It sure beats eating out in expensive and often noisy restaurants where no bonding takes place, especially now during these tough economic times.

(This article was inspired by the Good News article "Dinnertime" by Scott Hoefker.)