Information Related to "What Is Your Children's Future?"

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As director of a summer camp for teens, I've noticed that when youngsters arrive at camp you can always spot the ones who are insecure in the camp environment. They are generally the ones who either withdraw and lag behind or act like bullies and begin to terrorize others. Both types are usually insecure for more or less the same reasons. Often they simply don't have their future figured out yet.

For many young people, their identity- who they are and their vision of what they can become-is either practically nonexistent or distorted. As a result, many values that their parents thought they were imparting don't seem to take root and become a permanent part of their children's character.

This may not be all that noticeable at home, but when a young person arrives at camp it becomes apparent. The camper has to immediately interact with his peers, and how the youth feels about himself manifests itself almost immediately.

One of the major objectives at our summer camps is for young men and women to experience success. We feel it is vitally important that they have a clear picture of who they are and what they can become. Their future should be one of success.

Values are taught in the context of this vision. Values make sense when young people see how those values can result in a bright future.

Some of these strong influencesñsuch as peers, television and gangsñredefine the future and teach false values that lead our children to seek short-term, counterfeit objectives palmed off as success.

Summer camps provide an opportunity for youths to experience success in a group context. They live and function among their peers for the rest of their lives. If they are accepted and accomplished in the eyes of their peers, that acceptance goes a long way to set the pattern for a successful future. At our camps we help young people create the vision of their future. This strong vision, in turn, can be their guide when false values present themselves.

There is a proverb that says, "Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint . . ." (Proverbs 29:18). People will learn to restrain themselves if they are taught those values that spring from God's inspired Word, values that will produce a bright and positive future for them personally.

Consequences of lack of vision

Many young people experience a sense of hopelessness. A clear vision of where they are going and who they are is distorted by powerful influences.

Some of these strong influences-such as peers, television and gangs-redefine the future and teach false values that lead our children to seek short-term, counterfeit objectives palmed off as success. One of the strongest desires of any young person is to be accepted and approved by friends, to reach a certain significance among peers.

This is one of the reasons gangs are so alluring today. Gangs provide a quick and easy way to achieve acceptance by the group-usually by doing some harmful or evil act. This is a powerful influence because the individual is experiencing success-approval and acceptance from others.

It's natural for young people to want to be accepted by friends and peers. But all too often a condition for that acceptance involves the temptation to lower standards taught at home or church. Such temptation, and the pressure for acceptance, can be stronger than a teen's conscience. The short-term payoff is achieving some status with friends, but the consequences may be destructive, detrimental habits such as smoking, alcohol and drug abuse and premarital sex. Peer pressure, along with the effects of some of these behaviors, often results in lower grades at school.

Parents need to realize, too, the powerful influence of television. Seemingly it is able to create an instant vision of what a person can become. In reality, however, it creates only imaginary worlds filled with people acting out what are usually unrealistic and fantasized stories. These scenarios come complete with values that can become the guiding light of unwary viewers. Television is a powerful tool that, if unchecked, will create a counterfeit vision for young people, along with a corrupt value path to take them there.

The power of positive pressure

However, group influence can also be positive.

There are several deliberate strategies we put into action at summer camp. I ask our counselors, who have 10 to 12 young people in their dormitories, to work toward welding their dorms together into teams. We want to help those youths who lack confidence in what they can do, especially in front of their peers, to come out of their shell and experience success as part of a group.

Encouragement is the order of the day. No negative comments or put-downs are allowed. Any achievement in any activity, large or small, is recognized. This is a rule.

The bully likewise soon experiences success and discovers that healthy acceptance and approval among peers is far superior to the cheap respect he craved and demanded from others through his aggressive behavior.

Other behaviors such as negative comments and insults, sloppy habits, bad language and dirty tricks are soon replaced with team effort. Such behavioral problems are dealt with privately without ridiculing or demeaning anyone.

Our goal is to create an atmosphere in which right values pay off in the success the young people experience in the group environment. This offers a powerful incentive while it gives the young people a glimpse of the future. We want more than anything else for each camper to experience on a small scale what he can become through applying proper values and living life the right way.

Everyone wants success. Through these methods and strategies, we paint a picture, create a vision for our boys and girls. They begin to imagine the path they can walk that will lead them where they want to go, with better understanding of the values that will sustain them in their lifelong journey.

Challenge for parents

Can you do this for your children? If you are a parent, you have to make hard decisions. You have to sacrifice for your children. But you quickly learn that the price you pay is quite small in comparison to the wonderful results that can follow later.

Those of us who have worked at these camps have noticed the improvement in morale and hope in individual teens during the course of camp sessions. But I have also received reports that when they went home, within weeks or even days, some reverted to their old behavior and attitudes. The world they returned to became the dominant influence in their lives again.

At camp we strive to reinforce what we hope are the values youths are taught at home. Realistically, though, this isn't always the case. Maybe the values of the home aren't taught correctly, or maybe they're missing or neglected altogether. Our children are always learning values, either good or bad. If other influences prove to be more powerful than you as a parent, those influences will almost always become the teacher.

This, of course, is a dilemma for parents. What are you willing to do about it?

An example from history

The Bible contains a story about a man whose family grew into a powerful and successful nation. Although this tale is thousands of years old, it contains truths that are as applicable now as they were millennia ago.

God told Abraham what his children would become if he, Abraham, would change his life and do what God said. This was a powerful motivation, because every parent wants his children to have the best. Abraham listened and took God up on His promise that, if he would obey God and teach his children to obey, then God would make of him and his children the greatest nations on earth.

For many young people, their identityñwho they are and their vision of what they can becomeñis either practically nonexistent or distorted. As a result, many values don't seem to
take root.

God would be their God and they would be blessed with national power and greatness such that even other nations would be blessed because of them. It was an extraordinary opportunity. You can read of these promises-which were passed from generation to generation-in Genesis 12,15,22,26,35 and 48.

Consider the effect this vision of their future had on these children as they heard-perhaps daily as they sat around campfires and walked in the fields-the promises of what they could become. Their destiny was painted for them by believing parents. The parents themselves had hope in their future and were blessed by God for their faithfulness and because they taught their children to obey Him.

Abraham passed this vision and these promises to his son Isaac, who in turn passed them to his son Jacob. You can imagine the effect of children growing up listening to the stories of their God-given destiny instead of the TV soaps and situation comedies that pollute the minds of so many youngsters today. Not that there weren't serious problems and difficulties to surmount along the way, but, as a result of this vision, Isaac and Jacob obeyed God and were recipients of the same blessings promised to Abraham.

Keeping the future in sight

Perhaps most striking in this saga of Abraham's family is the life of Joseph, a son of Jacob. Joseph was particularly influenced by the promises that God offered his great-grandfather Abraham. As an adolescent, Joseph was sold into Egypt with no hope of ever returning to his homeland and family. While in Egypt he was falsely accused and thrown into prison.

But through these trials Joseph never lost sight of who he was and what he could become, and he faithfully maintained his values under conditions that were far from favorable. All he had to sustain him were the promises of God he had grown up with and his belief and faith in God and what He had promised.

Without this vision Joseph undoubtedly would have lapsed into the flawed value system of Egypt and forsaken the true God. But with this vision he rose from spending time in prison to being named second in command of the most powerful kingdom of his age. God blessed Joseph with accomplishment and success in the face of extreme adversity, because he would not compromise his values.

As a parent, can you create an environment that will be a stronger influence than the forces of the world around you?

Parents are in an unusual and ideal position to create the powerfully influential world, complete with right and positive values, that can counteract the inferior and counterfeit value systems so effective at influencing our children.

Unfortunately, many well-intentioned parents unknowingly abdicate their God-given right, position and responsibility to shape their children's future. Sometimes incorrect or inadequate methods are used to instill values. Often parents simply don't know what to do. Others are not willing to make some hard decisions or follow through on their commitments.

Positive steps

What can you do? Here are some ways you can start:

~Establish your purpose in life. Is it clear in your mind why you are on earth? Is that purpose the driving force in your life, and are you able to regularly express it to your children?