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Question: Why is it hard for a Christian to have a relationship with a non-Christian?
Answer: Difficulties between Christians and non-Christians arise fundamentally over different value systems. In 2 Corinthians 6:14, the apostle Paul wrote, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"
Here, the concept of being "unequally yoked" is a reference to the biblical prohibition against harnessing an ox and a donkey together because they would not make a good team (Deuteronomy 22:10). By citing this concept, Paul was teaching the Corinthians not to get involved with idolatry. Pagan worship and Christianity cannot be yoked together. As Paul asks, "...what part has a believer with an unbeliever?" (verse 15).
When we consider marrying someone, we need to apply the same principle by asking, will my future mate and I make a good team? Prior to marriage is the time to consider whether we are compatible with a potential mate. Compatible religious belief is one area that has the potential to provide great satisfaction or great havoc, if there is controversy.
Of course, we should understand that we are going to have much contact with non-believers as we live our lives and we are supposed to be lights to these people (Matthew 5:14). The principle of being properly teamed up with someone, however, is particularly relevant to close personal relationships, such as business deals and marriage.
When Christians enter into marriages with non-Christians, they can be tempted to give up their Christian values. Some proceed with marriages anyway, thinking they can work things out between themselves. In some cases, individuals with differing values do find ways to work together with their limitations. In other cases, they find that they are frustrated by their mate's different values. Children of such marriages can also be confused as they try to decide which parent to follow.
In evaluating a potential mate, it is also important to realize that not all professing Christians share the same beliefs or lifestyles. Today, "Christian" is a very general term. This is why it is important for potential mates to learn about each other's beliefs through dating. Then wise, informed decisions can be made regarding a potential marriage.
God's way of life is a delight and pleasure. Not being able to fully share or appreciate this joy is a frustration for both the Christian and non-Christian. Because of this, the principle given by God through Paul is still valid today. Following it can help us have better relationships.
Question: Esther 9:27-28 says we should celebrate Purim. Do we not celebrate it because it's in the Old Testament and not restated in the New Testament?
Answer: Purim is the celebration of God's deliverance of the Jews during the time of Queen Esther and Mordecai. Esther 9:27 explains that "the Jews established and imposed it [this celebration] upon themselves and their descendants." The following verse adds that this celebration was "to be observed among the Jews."
Purim is not a commanded celebration of God. It is a day of thankfulness established by the Jews themselves. Along similar lines, the United States established Thanksgiving as a holiday to thank God for His blessings. It is not wrong to observe Purim or Thanksgiving. Many Jews continue to observe Purim and many Americans observe Thanksgiving. But God doesn't command us to observe either. The days God commands us to observe are listed in Leviticus 23 and include the weekly Sabbath and the annual Holy Days.
As for the Old and New Testaments, we obey God's instructions in both. In 2 Timothy 3:16-17 Paul tells us, "All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work."
There have been a few administrative modifications of God's instructions from the Old Testament, such as a change in sacrifices, to whom we should tithe, etc. Every one of these modifications, however, is clearly explained in the New Testament. It is not Jesus' desire for us to simply ignore anything that comes from the Old Testament. He specifically said that He did not come to destroy the law or prophets (Matthew 5:17). When Jesus spoke this, He was clearly referring to the Old Testament. The New Testament did not come into existence until many years later.
Question: I'm 17-years old and committed to Jesus. I've never had a boyfriend before—not one relationship—but I would love to have a Christian boyfriend. I so want a really godly man that loves Jesus as much as I do. I am prepared to wait till God brings me the right guy along, but I just want to know how long will I have to wait? I feel I am mature and ready for a relationship. It seems as though everyone else around me is in a relationship except me and all my friends get with guys and sleep with them. But I'm not like that and I don't want to do that. I'm saving myself till marriage and all my non-Christian friends think that I'm crazy.
Answer: We are glad to hear that you are a committed Christian and that you are willing to wait until God provides you a godly man. Also, waiting until you are married to have sexual relations will be a blessing to you and your future husband.
The fact that you don't have a boyfriend right now may be a blessing. While different people mature at different ages, most people in our society are not ready for marriage until their mid-20s. In fact, the average age for most first marriages in the United States is now somewhere between age 25 and 28. In human development, an even deeper level of maturity can be attained when young people reach this age.
You may currently be very mature as a 17-year old, but you will probably be amazed at your own difference in maturity in seven or eight years. This deeper level of maturity that comes in one's mid-20s helps husbands and wives follow God's standards of loyalty and faithfulness in marriage.
In addition to waiting for additional maturity, there are other good reasons for waiting to marry. Most teens need further education (college or learning a trade) before they are ready for marriage. Those who marry prior to completing these steps may find their careers sidetracked by their spouse or by having to raise children. Many also incur greater financial indebtedness. Emphasizing the priority to develop a career first, Proverbs 24:27 says, "Prepare your outside work, make it fit for yourself in the field; and afterward build your house."
When a teenage boy and girl have an exclusive relationship with each other, they find it more difficult to avoid sexual contact. God made us with the desire to love and be loved. But there is a proper time and an improper time for doing so. There is "a time to love" (Ecclesiastes 3:8) and there is a time not to "awaken love" (Song of Solomon 8:4).
To honor God through proper conduct and not prematurely awaken love, Youth United e-magazine recommends young people not date exclusively until they are ready for marriage. Having a wide variety of friends of the opposite sex offers opportunities for friendships and activities with less temptation to sin via premarital sex. If you would like to read more about our recommendations for dating, see the chapter, "Marriage: Foundation of the Family," in our free booklet, "Making Life Work".
As for your question about how long you will have to wait for a relationship with a godly man, that is something for you to discuss with God in prayer. Perhaps God is blessing you in that you don't have one exclusive relationship right now. Perhaps what you really want right now are several good friends who just happen to be guys. Hang onto your convictions to honor God in all your actions. He will bless you for your efforts (Galatians 6:7). You may also like to read an article that previously appeared in Youth United titled, "When Will God Provide a Mate for You?" by Brendan and Sharon Babcock.
Question: At what age do you think a person should start dating for marriage?
Answer: As young people grow up through their teen years, they should be responsive to the direction and guidelines set down by their parents. So the United Church of God teaches that teens' social and dating lives should be guided by their parents' wishes. It is our feeling that one-on-one dating shouldn't really take place until a person is at an age when dating towards marriage is practical. The actual age when this occurs, of course, varies greatly.
There are rare exceptions when someone 19 or 20 years old might be ready for marriage; however, it is usually four to eight years later before individuals have their education and are able to focus on the responsibilities of marriage and raising a family.
Question: What does the Bible say about getting tattoos?
Answer: While tattooing has been around for centuries, this practice has enjoyed a popular resurgence, especially among young people, in the last few years. The reasons vary. Some get tattoos to show independence and rejection of parental values. Some get them to shock adults. Others get them because of peer pressure or because they believe they are stylish. Unfortunately, peer pressure to be like others can lead to foolish decisions that stay with us for a lifetime.
As for God's instruction regarding tattoos, Leviticus 19:28 says, "You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor tattoo any marks on you: I am the LORD." In this case, the cutting in the flesh is related to "the dead." Most biblical scholars believe the pagans cut themselves as outward signs of their mourning for the dead.
Apparently, these pagans cut themselves and disfigured their bodies as a way of appeasing the anger of their gods and hoping to find some help for the deceased. God did not want His people getting involved in these pagan rituals because these practices led people away from Him. While death is always a sad time, God's people are not to "...sorrow as others who have no hope" (1 Thessalonians 4:13).
The reference to tattooing in Leviticus 19 may also have been related to the dead. Whether it was or not, God clearly stated that His people were not to put tattoos on themselves. In Leviticus 21:5, God repeated the prohibition against cuttings in the flesh (something that leaves marks) for the priests. Tattooing was evidently a common practice in the ancient world and God told His people not to get involved in the customs of the heathen. In some cultures, the wearing of a tattoo was thought to convey magical powers, transferring the strength, wisdom, courage, etc., of the creature portrayed in the tattoo to the wearer. In addition, one biblical scholar suggests that by this command, God was teaching His people respect for God's creation.
Many people have gotten tattoos when they were young, only to wish they could get rid of them later in life. Dangerous diseases have been transmitted by improper sanitation of the needles used in tattooing. An article in the USA Weekend magazine of Aug. 5, 2001, quotes a study by the University of Texas showing that those who have been tattooed are nine times more likely to be infected with hepatitis C, a fatal virus. The study urged those who have been tattooed in the last 10 years to be checked for the disease because it is often dormant for years before being detected. Because of these factors and God's clear command, we feel it is wrong for a Christian to get tattooed. If a person already has a tattoo before becoming a Christian, he is not required to have it removed.
Question: Why do other churches worship on Sunday rather than the seventh-day Sabbath?
Answer: There is a long history behind why so many churches and Christian denominations observe Sunday rather than the Sabbath (Saturday). Much of this record can be confirmed in secular history.
Many in the early church (during the second century A.D.) began to incorporate some of the practices of the traditional pagan religions in the Roman Empire around them, including the practice of worshiping on Sunday. The church leadership also compromised and blended practices of Greek philosophers with Christianity.
The motivation for doing so was to distance themselves from anything Jewish. Although Christianity's roots are found in Jewish practice (God's laws in the Old Testament), church leaders at that time were embarrassed by this association and determined to rid themselves of Jewish connections such as the seventh-day Sabbath.
While a few Sunday-keeping denominations today will cite a few scriptures from the New Testament supposedly giving "evidence" that the Sabbath was not kept in the early Church and that Sunday was, most will acknowledge that it was the political pressures in history that caused the change. Of course, this compromise with God's law (the Fourth Commandment) was also seen when churches began incorporating the trappings and practices now associated with Christmas and Easter.
If you would like to learn more about mainstream Christianity's history of replacing biblical practices with traditional pagan styles of worship, we suggest you read Holidays or Holy Days—Does It Matter Which Days We Keep? and Sunset to Sunset—God's Sabbath Rest.
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Keywords: relationships, Christian Purim boyfriend, Christian dating, age for tattoos Sunday keeping
Purim: