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Reflections on Loneliness By Robert Berendt You can be lonely even in a crowd, but God offers hope for the lonely -- now and for eternity.
oneliness -- that uncomfortable feeling of being alone, often when you are in the company of others -- brings with it a dark sadness that can become profound and deeply disturbing. God's people not immune Far from being immune to loneliness, the Bible shows that many of God's people have struggled with this negative emotion. For instance, having lost all but his own life, Job expresses his sense of loneliness when he is accosted by his friends whom he calls "miserable comforters" (Job 16:2).
Both Elijah and Job expressed the feeling that they did not want to live any longer (1 Kings 19:4; Job 3:11; 10:18; 14:13). Elijah and Job were both fueled by fear and uncertainty. They may not have doubted God, but the loss of human support brought strong feelings of despair. It is helpful to remember that Jesus Christ Himself knew true loneliness when His followers forsook Him at His arrest and crucifixion. My bout of profound loneliness In the past, I experienced my own bout of profound loneliness in spite of the great support of loved ones surrounding me. I have many relatives, including four children and 13 grandchildren. I have many friends. But after my wife Joan's death, one day epitomizing my loneliness stands out. It was Sept. 28, 1984. I was in Vienna that night on the first anniversary of Joan's death. I had been coping quite well and enjoying my first trip to Europe, but on that night I was in a small wine-tasting room in a small pub, and though there were people there, I felt very much alone. I could not share my thoughts with anyone else. I felt isolated in the midst of others. It was not a nice feeling, I must admit. Thankfully, I had the reserves and support to bounce back quickly -- but that experience gave me a glimpse into that forlorn state of mind and how to counteract it. Counteracting that dark cloud
Of course, a visit will uplift them. But reaching out to help others in need can also help dispel the loneliness we all feel from time to time. All Christians have the responsibility to aid and support one another. We can choose to act for the sake of others and ourselves.
Combating loneliness may not be easy. Social graces may be lacking, but they can be learned. Self-improvement courses can really work. There are countless others who are just as lonely -- looking for relief. Going to places (such as church social activities) where we can get to know people is a conscious act of taking control. Too often, we follow the "natural" path that Elijah took -- walking alone in the desert, kicking rocks and looking for a cave. Everyone will feel the cloud of loneliness from time to time. Those who set out to do something about it may be learning far more than they realize.
Recommended Reading: Life has its challenges and ups and downs, but there are tried and tested principles that can make it work. Our booklet Making Life Work discusses ways to improve your relationships and lead a more meaningful and happier life. Read or download a copy of or request a free copy through the mail. Copyright 2003 by United Church of God, an International Association All rights reserved. |
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Keywords: loneliness widows orphans friends
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