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The Single Malady By Carol Taylor As a single, I was suffering from a sickness I didn't recognize, but I found a solution in Scripture that gave me true satisfaction and eventually a soul mate!
hen I was single, I suffered from a malady that made my life miserable. If you are single, I wonder if you ever suffer from this disease? Are you worried that you might never find a mate? Are you discouraged that your congregation has too few singles to choose from? Do you date outside the faith because there is nobody for you inside the Church? Do you feel you are sort of wasting your time getting to know members who are not potential mates?
Eventually I discovered that the disease, of which these are all symptoms, is simple self-centeredness -- and I had a nice large dose of it! If being completely consumed with myself had been the key to happiness, I would have been extremely happy. But, alas, selfishness has one infallible end: "For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there" (James 3:16).
Some have a wholly mistaken idea that you cannot grow much or contribute much or be balanced or truly accepted unless and until you are married. Yet Paul and Christ and many other great Christian men and women were not married for all or most of their lives. And there are many single people in God's Church who lead exemplary lives and are happy and fulfilled. The solution These happy singles have undoubtedly found the solution to the problem of self-seeking, which Paul describes in Philippians 2:4, "Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others."
When you look out for the interests of others and get your mind off yourself, all kinds of wonderful things can happen. There is no greater joy than in giving -- as God Himself attests (Acts 20:35). So when we stop trying to get for ourselves and focus on others' success and happiness, we will be happier -- guaranteed.
And if you want to be married one day, why not work on the absolutely essential trait of selflessness now? All singles can grow in this area in the same way married people do by looking out for the interests of others instead of just themselves. And you will be far more "eligible" if you develop this trait as a single person, because all married people must learn to put another person's needs before their own or their marriage will not succeed. Instead of dating
As an aside, many singles do not like large singles' activities. Wrong or right, they may see them as "meat markets" or sizing up contests. However, they might like smaller, handpicked dinner parties or outings. Everyone does not have to be a part of everything. Instead of criticizing some for not joining in, create different opportunities for all.
Traditional one-on-one dating as this world has practiced it is too often counterproductive to friendship and often leaves a trail of heartache and grief, especially if it has led to any kind of intimacy with no commitment. Dating one-on-one is a perfect setup for rushing into romance and intimacy without any previous bond or friendship; most people would not actually treat good friends the way they do "dates"! Instead of feeling sorry for yourself that you are not married or dismayed because God has not sent your soul mate to you, get proactive and try to help others fulfill their dreams. I guarantee you that the one who will benefit the most will be you! "If you give, you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, and running over. Whatever measure you use in giving -- large or small -- it will be used to measure what is given back to you" (Luke 6:38, New Living Translation). Recommended reading "Dating Dos and Don'ts" from the booklet Marriage and Family: The Missing Dimension has helpful information for singles of any age. Read it or . Copyright 2008 by United Church of God, an International Association All rights reserved. |
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Origin of article "The Single Malady"
Keywords: single finding a mate good of others
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