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You Raise Me Up, Because You Are Your Brother's Keeper
By Janet Treadway

Sobering statistics demonstrate how swiftly society is self-destructing. We especially see self-destructive behavior in our teens. Are we to be our "brother's keeper" and help one another?

More people than ever before need help. In the next 24 hours...

  • 1,439 teens will attempt suicide.
  • 2,795 teenage girls will become pregnant.
  • 15,006 teens will use drugs for the first time.
  • 3,506 teens will run away.

More than 50 percent of all teens use alcohol or drugs. Teens now account for over a fourth of all sexually transmitted diseases. (Source of statistics: Teen Help Adolescent Resources, www.vpp.com/teenhelp/).

Do you have strong shoulders that can lift someone up and get him or her going again when the valleys seem so deep?
A few years ago an Entertainment Tonight television program aired an interview of a 58-pound lady, Melissa DeHart. Melissa, a former newscaster, is struggling with anorexia and bulimia. Because of the interview, millions of people stepped in to help Melissa win this battle through letters and cards of encouragement. A doctor who works with people who struggle with this problem has offered his services for free. Melissa was overwhelmed to realize so many people card. Melissa is also helping others who have this problem by openly talking about her problem.

Our teens and young people are plagued with today. But what does that have to do with you and me? I don't have a problem with those things, so what? Am I responsible for them? Am I my brother's keeper?

Are we our brother's keeper? In Genesis 4:9, Cain asked God the question, "Am I my brother's keeper?"

Cain was trying to deny he had any responsibility for caring for his brother. The very fact God asked Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?" laid responsibility on Cain's shoulders. He indeed was his brother's keeper.

Many people failed Dara Hughes by having the same attitude Cain had.

Do you know a Dara Hughes?

The PA cracked on and our principal began to speak in a raspy, serious and sorrowful tone: "I have a tragic incident to relate to you, and I want you all to listen and think about it. Dara Hughes, a sophomore here committed suicide yesterday..."

Everyone wants to be all he or she can be. Everyone wants to be loved and to succeed. Everyone needs a friend to help him or her along this difficult journey. No man is an island!
Dara Hughes -- I remembered that name. Last Friday, I was listening to the radio and Dara called in and, upon naming the top 10 hits in order, she was awarded a pizza party for herself and 25 of her friends. She had not giggled with excitement, but simply told the deejay, "Thank you... but I don't have 25 friends." The deejay tried to persuade her, but she protested, "No, really, I don't have any friends," and with a click she was off the line.

Only a week ago she had been alive and now... I shivered as goose bumps pricked all over my body. I turned my attention back to the scratchy voice of the principal: "Please look around you at your classmates. Is there anyone who is left out all the time, anyone who has no friends? Please tell your teacher if you know of anyone."

It is too late for Dara, but it is not too late to help and encourage those around you.

Sometimes life can be pretty tough, but to go the road alone can make the road long, lonely and rough. Popular singing star Josh Groban sings the song, "You Raise Me Up!" Here are the lyrics:

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... to more than I can be.

Do you have strong shoulders that can lift someone up and get him or her going again when the valleys seem so deep? What if your friend has a drinking or a drug problem, how do you help? What if he or she is depressed and thinking of suicide, like Dara?

What if you know someone who is struggling, like Melissa, with anorexia and bulimia? How can we carry our friends on our shoulders until they are strong enough to stand on their own?

Here are some steps you can take to be your brother's keeper:

DO:

  • Listen with understanding.
  • Approach your friend gently, and don't stop! Tell your friend you are worried about him or her. Your friend will probably not admit to having a problem right off. The first step is realizing there is a problem, and it is important for you to help your friend realize this.
  • Appreciate the openness and trust your friend must have to share his or her distress with you.
  • Share your own struggles, be open and real. If your friend understands that you also have problems then he or she can relate to you more.
  • Learn more about the problem. The Internet is full of help resources.
  • Support and be available. Do not try to analyze or interpret your friend's problem. Being supportive is the most important thing you can do. Show your friend you believe in him or her -- it will make a difference.
  • Give hope that with help and with patience he or she can be free from this problem. Nothing is so deep that he or she can not rise above it.
  • Give your friend a list of resources for help.
  • Encourage your friend to talk to to his or her parents and minister.
  • Just be there.
  • Get counseling yourself from your parents or minister. They can direct you in the right way to go and give you much needed support.
  • Most of all, pray for your friend!

On the other hand, you can discourage your friend by doing certain things.

DON'T:

God will give us the strength to help others in their darkest hours. He will give us wisdom and calmness to handle it!

  • Tell your friend that he or she is crazy. Your friend needs to understand there are others who have suffered through the same kind of problems and have risen above it.
  • Blame him or her. Your friend feels horrible as it is and probably hates him or herself.
  • Gossip about your friend. This will destroy his or her trust in you and destroy any help you could give.
  • Follow your friend around to check on his or her behavior. You are a friend, not a policeman.
  • Ignore your friend. He or she needs you more now than ever. It will take work, time and sacrifice and even giving up some things you would like to do.
  • Reject him or her.
  • Don't keep things a secret from your friend's family when health and safety are involved. This is a tough one and your friend may hate you, but in the long run you could be saving his or her life. Anger will pass and go away, but if a person dies from his or her habits that is a done deal and cannot be changed.

Being a young person is tough. Young people face many pressures in life. Everyone wants to be all he or she can be. Everyone wants to be loved and to succeed. Everyone needs a friend to help him or her along this difficult journey. No man is an island!

In 1 Thessalonians 5:11 and 14, we read, "Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing... comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all." We need each other!

God's help

Most of all, we need God! God is there to hold us up and help us through the most difficult trials. He will raise us up to stand on mountains.

Psalm 18:32-36 states, "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, and sets me on my high places. He teaches my hands to make war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up; Your gentleness has made me great. You enlarged my path under me, so my feet did not slip."

God, 2 Corinthians 1:4 says, "comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

God will give us the strength to help others in their darkest hours. He will give us wisdom and calmness to handle it! No matter how difficult being our brother's keeper may prove, we must!

In the famous poem "Footprints in the Sand," the author noted that when she was in the deepest despair, going through the toughest times of her life, there was only one set of footprints in the sand. Troubled about it, she asked God, why was this so and God replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, it was when I carried you."

Remember, you cannot force someone to seek help, change their habits or adjust their attitudes. You can make a difference by honestly sharing your concerns, providing support and knowing where to go for more information. You may need outside help for yourself. If you are feeling overwhelmed or frustrated, talk to a professional. With wisdom, prayer and help from others you can make a difference in someone's life! We all should have a part in making someone all that they can be.

For we are all our brother's keeper!

Recommended reading

For more information concerning the paths our lives should take, read our free booklet . Life can be confusing without God's direction.

Copyright 2006 by United Church of God, an International Association All rights reserved.


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Other Articles by Janet Treadway
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Keywords: helping brother's keeper suicide friendship God's help 

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