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Promises, Promises! By Robert Berendt "No ifs, ands or buts," some will say! "Let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'" (Matthew 5:37). We demand unconditional love and promise keeping. We consider a person of high value if he or she keeps to their word "come hell or high water."
oung people may say, "I'll love you forever," and be sincere in their exaggeration. Moms and dads tell their children, "I'll always be there for you." Our statements and words reflect a deed we may wish to perform, but reality says something different. Reality in most cases is the silent partner to our words. There is a distance between the "yes" and the "but" that remains unspoken. We all are disturbed and feel terribly betrayed when another person breaks a promise. And yet we have all broken our word at one time or another. No matter how vehemently we deny that, it is a fact of life for human beings. Our "yes" is not definite -- it carries unspoken and hidden conditions. The promise of a parent can be cut short by an accidental death. Unforeseen conditions can arise to interfere with what we may want to do. We humans are subject to various pressures we cannot control. Memory, distance, illness, emergencies or changing circumstances all play a role in our lives. Thus, we ought to realize (and I am sure we do) that we have a lot of "buts" in our lives. The unspoken "but" One area I have noticed that creates huge problems for Christians is in the promises God makes. James 5:14-18 has caused grief for many who were not healed of an illness -- though they prayed fervently about the problem. John 14:13-14 has led some into grief as they suppose that whatever they ask in Jesus' name will be given. Some pick up snakes believing that God would not allow the snake to bite them. Some are hurt when, after praying long and strong for a job or some need they have, the prayer seems to go unanswered.
James 5:7-12 is a scripture that contains some sound advice. It precedes the promise of healing. James speaks of patience and of suffering in the verses preceding this. We are to learn to suffer in patience. In verse 12, James tells us not to swear by heaven or by earth or with any other oath. An oath leaves little or no room for a "but." James hearkens back to Jesus' words in Matthew 5:33-37 where Jesus told people not to swear because they cannot even make a hair black or white (or grow hair, I notice). Jesus was pointing out that we are limited by being physical. We are limited in a great number of ways. Unseen events and circumstances in our lives may all have a bearing on our "yes." In other words, every "yes" has unspoken conditions imposed on it by the very fact that we are temporary creatures living in changing conditions in an ever-changing world. The intention of a "yes" is good and necessary in life. In Matthew 26:41 Jesus stated, "The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." This does not diminish the need for determination to fulfill a promise -- but it does add reality. God is a realist. One example Jesus gives is in obeying God's commandments. For example, Jesus kept the seventh day of the week as the commanded day of rest (Exodus 20:8-11). Yet He pointed out that it is acceptable to do good and care for the needs of humans and animals (Mark 3:4; Luke 6:9; 13:15; 14:5). Common sense provided the "buts."
A change of plans In 2 Corinthians 1:12-23 Paul writes about a change in his plans. He writes of sincerity and in verse 15 relates his intention to come to Corinth again. In verse 23, he explains why his plans were changed. Paul states that with God there is not a "Yes and No" (verse 19) -- that is, there are no "buts" in the sense we humans have through our weaknesses. New factors were not known when Paul's promise was made, but the silent understanding was always understood in the promise.
Luke 12:16-21 is another example of poor thinking. Our best laid plans and promises need to have the possibility of unforeseen events built into them. The man in this parable may have signed contracts and given his word -- but death was a condition to his "yes."
We must remember that when plans or circumstances change, we are obligated to notify the other person about it, before the recipient is inconvenienced, only to hear an excuse later. For instance, this can happen when a hostess invites people to a dinner party. All too often, though she has prepared and set a place for them, they simply do not show up! Responsibility for our actions is a point of character. Wisdom in speaking and acting are paramount to our development as children of God. So, we may conclude that godly character demands a sincere attempt to follow through with our promises -- our "yeses." But a good understanding of possibilities that are part of our lives is needed. That is just the way it is -- so we learn the great lessons of life. Copyright 2006 by United Church of God, an International Association All rights reserved. |
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Keywords: your word promises excuses
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