Information Related to "Preparing for Womanhood"
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The primary goal of some women has been to achieve "equality" with men and successfully compete with males in the working world. Many women today adhere to this perspective as they strive for the "superwoman" ideal—to climb the career ladder while still trying to manage family and household responsibilities.
Other women see this as an unattainable goal and believe their talents are best used caring for their children and home full-time.
Still others see womanhood primarily in terms of physical appearance. They may put on pretty dresses, sparkly earrings, red lipstick, high heels and pink bows in their long hair and look very feminine indeed. Yet their words and actions may portray something totally different.
What do you think? Do you have a definition in mind for womanhood? You should. As a young woman in your teens or early 20s, you need to be preparing now for womanhood, and you'll be better able to do this if you have a clear understanding of what true femininity is all about.
The place to find this understanding is the Bible. God's Word sets forth definite standards for womanhood. His design for females can be easily summed up. No matter what specific roles you might have someday—whether a wife, mother, single woman, career woman or member of your community or church—God desires that you cultivate a love for the home and family and a concern about the needs of others. That is the essence of true womanhood.
Specifically, the Bible admonishes women to love their husbands and children (Titus 2:4), engage in homemaking (Proverbs 31:15,27-28; Titus 2:5), help those in need (Proverbs 31:20; 1 Timothy 5:10) and show hospitality (Romans 12:13; Hebrews 13:2). Godly womanhood includes such character strengths as being wise and kind (Proverbs 31:26; 14:1), industrious (Proverbs 31:13-20,27; 1 Timothy 5:10,13), encouraging (Ephesians 4:29; Proverbs 12:18), respectful and self-controlled (Titus 2:3) and careful in communication (Ephesians 4:25; James 1:19).
A godly woman doesn't gossip (1 Timothy 3:11; Titus 2:3). She is not easily provoked (1 Peter 3:4; Proverbs 10:19; 15:1; 17:27), nor is she belligerent, bossy, brash or quarrelsome (Proverbs 21:9,19).
While dressing femininely can certainly be part of womanhood, you don't have to be the quintessential "girlie girl" to be a godly woman. You could wear women's work or casual clothes and still be very feminine if you have a kind, caring and sensitive nature. On the other hand, even if you are wearing a frilly pink dress, you will not be truly feminine if you are pushy, outspoken or confrontational.
With these biblical standards in mind, here are some steps you can take to prepare for womanhood:
Many in society believe the home is not worthy of our best labors, but God tells us otherwise. Proverbs 14:1 states, "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands."
Ask your mom or grandma to teach you domestic skills like cooking, menu planning, entertaining, mending, gardening, time management and decorating. Then practice what you've learned. When I was a teen, I regularly helped my mom with cooking. I became responsible for one dinner a week and did all the cooking, planning and grocery shopping for those meals. That helped me build a lot of confidence in the kitchen.
Whether you are married or single, you will need homemaking skills. Even if you are living alone, you will have a household to take of. You can also use these skills to serve others—for instance, by hosting dinner parties, cooking for church potlucks and bringing meals to elderly shut-ins. Even when I went off to college, I made my roommates happy with my homemade apple pie and cinnamon rolls. At that time, my dorm was my "home" to care for.
Think through your career options
Chances are, you'll be working a good part of your adult life, so your career choice is important. Even if you become a mother, you might work out of financial necessity or for the fulfillment of it. (Of course, it's best to not work full-time if you have preschoolers so you can avoid daycare and give your children the nurturing attention they so badly need at this very formative age.)
Thinking about their family responsibilities, many wise women choose professions that will interfere the least with family life.
Many career fields nowadays require employees to work 50 or 60 hours a week, with frequent business travel. This is true of a lot of the high-level corporate jobs in the business world. Women in these positions can feel emotionally and physically drained, and have little time or energy left for family or friends.
On the other hand, some occupations are more "family-friendly," either because they can be done part-time or remotely from home or because the work hours coincide with when the children are in school. I know moms who work at home doing Web site design, writing, catering, business consulting, computer programming and accounting. I also have mom friends who are teachers and professors and have the same vacation days and work hours as their kids' school schedules.
How do you know which careers are family-friendly? Ask career counselors at school for guidance. You may also want to talk to mothers you know and respect who work in career fields you're interested in. Ask for their honest opinions as to whether their job works around family life—or detracts from it. Find out this information before you spend years in college preparing for a particular career.
Obviously it's important to get the necessary education required for your chosen career. Additionally, you should cultivate an interest in the arts, humanities, history, geography and current affairs topics. Read classic literature and stimulating nonfiction books. Take opportunities to travel to different parts of the country and the world. Visit historical sites and museums.
All this will broaden your knowledge base and help you become a more fascinating, well-rounded person. You will also be able to better connect with people with varying interests and backgrounds.
This is important whether you live alone or become married. Wives are often managers of the household budget. The woman described in Proverbs 31 is a good example. She was obviously a good money manager; otherwise she would not have been able to buy fields or have money to give to the poor.
Start learning basic bookkeeping skills like how to balance a checkbook. If you don't develop these skills now, they'll be much harder to learn as an adult. If you have a part-time job or receive money as gifts, get into a habit of saving some of it and not overspending. Not only will you develop good financial practices, you will also build up savings for "big ticket" items you may want to buy in the future.
The Proverbs 31 woman had a lot of stamina and physical strength (Proverbs 31:17,25). To be as active as she was, you need to be in good physical health. Now is the time to start eating a well-balanced diet and exercising regularly (if you aren't doing so already).
You should also avoid smoking and the abuse of alcohol or illegal drugs. This kind of "partying" is very harmful to your body and can be a difficult habit to break as an adult.
One of the best ways to develop an outgoing concern for others is to get into the habit of serving. If you know of a family at church or in your neighborhood with little children, you might offer to babysit for them every now and then. This will not only help you develop child-caring skills, but it's also a wonderful service.
There are many other opportunities to serve. Offer to help out with church potlucks, either with setup, serving food or cleanup. Send cards to people who are sick or facing difficult situations. If you see someone sitting alone at school or church, go up and talk to him or her. If there's a family at church with a lot of little children, offer to sit with them during services so that you can help watch their children. You may also be able to volunteer at a daycare center, nursing home or hospital.
Any of these will help you develop more of a service mind-set and get your focus off yourself.
Pray daily. Ask God to help you develop traits of biblical femininity and to guide you in your preparation for adulthood. If you see character flaws in yourself, ask God to help you overcome them.
Make time to study God's Word every day and pay special attention to instruction related to womanly roles. Practically every book in the Bible offers insights on this topic, either directly or indirectly.
Study the positive examples of women such as Deborah, Abigail, Ruth, Esther, Mary and the "virtuous woman" described in Proverbs 31. Meditate about how to apply the right principles found in these examples in your own life.
There are certainly a lot of steps that can and should be taken to prepare for womanhood. But ultimately, it's this last one—developing a close relationship with God—that will lead to your becoming a godly woman. VT
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