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Question: What is a good way to deal with jealousy? The jealousy I'm speaking of is not malicious. It's just that I wish a certain person wasn't in the picture.
Answer: Jealousy is a common problem we humans face, and dealing with other human beings takes great wisdom and skill. In fact, getting along with other people seems to be one of the greatest challenges that God has given us. The book of Proverbs has much to say about relationships, and spending some time reading through this book of the Bible reveals much about how God wants us to conduct ourselves.
As for dealing with personal jealousy, the Bible reveals that uncontrolled jealousy causes people to become very mean spirited (Proverbs 6:34). By contrast, Jesus said we are to love our enemies and those who mistreat us (Matthew 5:44). We must set aside jealousy if we are to become part of God's family (verse 45).
Jealousy originates from misperceptions as well as reality. Whatever the circumstances, we should always strive to follow God's advice. Some ways we can diffuse jealousy include minimizing areas in which we seem to be competing with others and respecting others for their unique gifts and efforts. Most people respond favorably if we give them some room and treat them kindly.
Due to the general nature of this question, we are unable to identify specific reasons why you may be jealous of the other person. Here, parents and other more mature counselors may be able to offer specific advice.
It is sometimes difficult to act like a Christian and set aside jealousies. But if we follow God's instructions about how to live our lives, we will be successes in the areas that really matter.
Question: Is it wrong to get drunk? Many times I have been at activities where teens my age are drinking. What does the Bible say about this?
Answer: Spurred on by commercial advertising and peer pressure, many young people today are abusing alcohol. Unfortunately, some parents are dismissing teenage drunkenness as a basically harmless activity. Parents who accept alcohol abuse in their teens often reason that alcohol is better than other drugs and thus see alcohol as only a minor problem. But teenage drinking is a serious concern on several biblical grounds, regardless of what misinformed parents may say or do.
First, we must understand that the Bible clearly says, "...Neither fornicators, nor...drunkards...will inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Getting drunk is obviously a sin! Although God allows humans to drink alcohol in moderation and even includes its use in the Passover service, many people drink more than they should and thus, sin. When parents teach their own children to drink alcohol in moderation, this is acceptable with God and provides important instruction for youth.
Unfortunately, most teenage drinking is done without parental knowledge or consent. If parents instruct their children not to drink alcohol and teens drink anyway, they are dishonoring their parents and breaking the Fifth Commandment (Exodus 20:12).
Local laws against minors drinking in public represent still another biblical concept we must consider. God tells us to obey "the governing authorities" where we live (Romans 13:1-7). Violations of laws forbidding minors to drink are also sin.
Teens who honor and respect God will say, "No," to offers of alcohol when their parents tell them not to drink or when local laws forbid drinking by youth. These same teens—ones who honor God—may drink in moderation when it is legally permitted and their parents approve. Youth United encourages you to be one of these kinds of teens.
Question: Will God forgive us if we make the same mistakes over again?
Answer: The Bible tells us that we must be overcomers in order to be in God's Kingdom (Revelation 2:7,11,17,26). To overcome something means to stop sinning and start living in obedience to God's commands. For example, if someone overcomes drunkenness, it means he or she doesn't get drunk any more. This is God's expectation of us.
Yet God also knows that because we are human, we occasionally slip up. We may even make some of the same mistakes over again. Yet God is faithful to forgive us if we are sincere and we ask Him for forgiveness. In 1 John 1:9 it says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Here it is vital that we have pure, sincere hearts. We must truly desire to live according to God's instructions. To help us become overcomers, God offers us His Holy Spirit when we repent and are baptized (Acts 2:38). If you would like to know more about what it means to sincerely serve God, request our free booklet, .
Question: It seems like every family has a different way of keeping the Sabbath. Some watch television while others do not. Some allow their kids to go to sports games Friday nights while others don't. Every time I spend a Friday night with a Church friend who grew up keeping the Sabbath differently than me, I become more and more confused about how it should be kept. There seems to be no standard other than the obvious refusing to be paid for work on the Sabbath. How should I determine how to keep the Sabbath?
Answer: This is an important question and one that is very important to our relationship with God. The Sabbath was made for man (Mark 2:28) and God fellowships with us during this time that He made holy (1 John 1:3). The best way to determine how to observe the Sabbath is to consider God's instructions regarding it.
While we can't cover all of the scriptures referring to the Sabbath in this short space, here are a few key principles to help you begin determining how God would have you observe this day.
First, we note in Exodus 20:8 that it is a day to "keep holy." This means the Sabbath is special—unlike other days. One way we are to make the Sabbath special is by ceasing from our normal work that we do throughout the week (Hebrews 4:9-10). Isaiah 58 is a good primer on our attitudes toward keeping the Sabbath. Here we find that we are not to seek our own pleasure and that we should look upon the Sabbath as a "delight." The Sabbath is a time to honor God instead of doing our normal activities.
The scriptures we have noted form a good basis for determining what to do or not do on the Sabbath. In keeping with these principles, on the Sabbath many people choose not to watch television (other than news programs) and to listen to different types of music (inspiring in nature) than they normally listen to. Many also choose to spend extra time in study and prayer on this day.
We hope these principles will help you make good decisions about how to observe the Sabbath. If you want to study this subject in greater depth, we recommend our free booklet, Sunset to Sunset—God's Sabbath Rest.
Question: Is it wrong to lie in order to save someone's life?
Answer: This question is a challenging one for Christians. While the Ninth Commandment clearly tells us not to "bear false witness" (Exodus 20:16), we know it takes a great deal of faith to fully obey God under all circumstances. Thus, a person would have to make a decision based on his or her trust and faith in God at the time. No one can give another person permission to lie. Many justifications for "doing good" could result.
Let's consider the likelihood of someone having to lie to protect someone and note some scriptures showing us how God works in our lives.
First, we must understand that being forced to lie to save someone's life is a very unusual circumstance—one that doesn't normally happen in most people's lives. While this scenario can arise during war or when someone is committing a crime, it is not something most Christians will have to face. Why not? Because Jesus teaches us to pray that we will not be led into temptation (to sin, as in breaking His commandments) and that we might be delivered from evil (Matthew 6:13). Jesus does not ask us to learn how to convincingly lie in order to deliver ourselves or someone else. If we truly love others, we will also pray for them and ask God's blessing and protection upon them as well. God, of course, is far more powerful than any soldier, army or criminal and is fully capable of protecting us and others without forcing us to break one of His commandments.
Secondly, we need to realize that even though we will face problems and trials in our lives, God promises to deliver us. In 1 Corinthians 10:13 it says, "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."
Additionally, the Bible is filled with scriptures showing that God is our Deliverer. Psalm 97:10, for example, says, "You who love the Lord, hate evil! He preserves the souls of His saints; He delivers them out of the hand of the wicked." God loves us and wants us to learn to trust Him for protection. He also expects us to be wise and not unnecessarily place ourselves in harm's way. Furthermore, God wants us to hate evil (a broad concept that includes lying)—not look for ways to make it acceptable.
To gain a greater understanding of the Ninth Commandment, read the chapter titled, "Truth as a Way of Life," in our free booklet, .
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