Information Related to "Explain Your Beliefs Without Losing Friends!"
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If
you're in the Church of God, you've probably heard these questions many
times. They reflect others' surprise at the beliefs we hold. Being in
God's Church means having a different set of beliefs than most—beliefs
that often aren't popular, and that frankly make us quite different!
Many people claim to be Christian and believe in Jesus Christ as Savior,
but they don't necessarily believe in absolute truth. They assume there
are "many roads" to salvation, and one shouldn't claim that any particular
way is the only way. Our world also includes atheists and agnostics
who have no religion and think of religious people as ignorant. Basically,
these are the two types of people we come into contact with when we are
at school or out with our friends.
When people learn that we hold strong moral convictions (and even call it "truth"), we can suddenly become the odd ones out. People then want to know why we believe what we do, and we have to explain our beliefs. How can we do so without losing our friends? Should we debate the truth? What attitude should we take? This article will attempt to answer these questions.
Simply put, how can you defend what you do if you don't know why you do it? Many teens in the Church of God have faithfully kept the Sabbath and Holy Days, tithed on their allowance or paycheck, and kept away from worldly holidays—but did not understand why they did these things. They just did it because that's what their parents said to do.
So how do you gain a good understanding of your beliefs? One obvious answer is by reading your Bible. Though teens often have busy schedules, it is wise to set aside time each day to read the Bible. The Bible is the source of all doctrines in the Church (2 Timothy 3:16) and is the best place to start to get an understanding of what God wants us to do.
It is also helpful to read the literature published by the Church. The Fundamental Beliefs booklet is an excellent source for basic explanations of our key doctrines. Since Holy Days, holidays and the Sabbath are such distinct beliefs, it is likely that we will all have to defend these sometime in our lives. It is wise to memorize key verses pertaining to these beliefs.
For example, to explain the Holy Days, it is good to know that Leviticus 23 and Deuteronomy 16 contain the original commands for "the feasts of the Lord" and Zechariah 14 shows that they will be kept after Christ returns.
For the Sabbath, it is good to know Exodus 20 contains the Fourth Commandment and that Mark 2:27-28 shows that the Sabbath was made for humanity and that Jesus Christ is the Lord of the Sabbath. This is just the minimum; it would be good to memorize many more of the vital scriptures on a particular topic.
Of course, the Church of God does not want you to blindly follow its teachings. Before we can explain the truth with all our hearts, we must examine everything carefully then "hold fast what is good" (1 Thessalonians 5:21). Once we have proven the truth to be truth, it is our duty to hold on to it, never let it go and pass it on to others.
So you're at school and it finally comes up—your beliefs. A teacher asks you, "Why are you leaving class for a week?" A student asks you, "Why aren't you coming to the Christmas party?" A coach asks you, "Why can't you practice or play on Saturday?" What do you do? Do you avoid the subject and immediately get out of the situation? Do you go into a sermon on why they are sinning by not doing what you're doing?
We must first understand that we shouldn't be ashamed of what we believe. Christ warns that "whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him the Son of Man will be ashamed when He comes in His own glory" (Luke 9:26). It is easy not to be ashamed of Christ at Church, but when we get out in the world we can be tempted to try to hide our beliefs so we don't look different.
The apostle Peter tells us to "always be ready to give a defense to everyone
who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you" (1 Peter 3:15). We are not
just to give a defense for the truth, but be ready to provide an answer! That's
why we need to "be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who
does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth" (2 Timothy 2:15).
Let's use the Sabbath as an example. You are on your school baseball team and you have been able to dodge games on the Sabbath the whole season. Suddenly, your team wins in the play-offs and is thrust into the championship game, which happens to fall on Saturday. "This is the biggest game you will ever have a chance to play in!" your coach says, "and I really need your bat in the lineup. Surely you can play this time!" He demands an explanation. Or, perhaps harder, your friends on the team want to know why you can't play. What do you do?
Be friendly. If your friend asks you about your beliefs, try to appreciate your friend's interest. It's natural to be curious and even to think something you've never heard much about is strange. Sometimes the person is not really asking a question, and it might be best to just laugh it off and admit it is a bit unusual. By being friendly all the time, others can appreciate your friendship even if you do have "strange" beliefs.
Be honest. Don't try to hide your reason. You could tell him or her that it is your personal belief (not just your parents) that the seventh day Sabbath is holy. Be brief! You don't need to go into a sermon, just use a short, straight-forward explanation. In many cases, you won't even need to bring up scriptures. If the person continues to ask questions, then you can get more specific and possibly bring up specific scriptures.
Don't argue. Your job is not to get into a theological debate. You are merely providing a person with an answer to a question he or she asked. That answer should be given respectfully, in complete humility, not putting the person down. Others may not agree with you, but they will respect you for your attitude! Notice the instruction of Paul to ministers, which we can apply in these situations: "Don't get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. The Lord's servants must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone. They must be able to teach effectively and be patient with difficult people. They should gently teach those who oppose the truth" (2 Timothy 2:23-25, New Living Translation).
When appropriate, challenge the person. If the person seems to be very interested in what you have to say, challenge him to study it himself! If the conversation is over a worldly holiday, you can challenge him to look up the origins in an encyclopedia. Most of the time, he will walk away and you will never hear about the subject again.
Don't try to convert someone. Especially when dealing with relatives or close friends, you may be tempted to try to persuade another to believe the truth. This is almost always a mistake. The Bible teaches that a person must receive a specific calling from God to become a true Christian (John 6:44-45)—not be persuaded by good arguments.
The late Herbert Armstrong used this principle in his ministry: "I never try to talk anyone into accepting Bible truth or being converted. I go to the world over the air, and in print, and everyone is free to listen, or read —or to dial out or not read. No one gets our literature unless he personally requests it. We try never to force God's precious truth on anyone. That's GOD'S WAY!!" (Autobiography of Herbert W. Armstrong, Vol. 1, p. 347).
Likewise, we can't force the truth on anyone. We can gently explain it when asked, but we should never do so in a judgmental way. If you find someone has serious interest in the truth, it would be wise to direct him or her to Church literature that highlights the biblical teaching on the subject.
Occasionally, despite our best efforts, we may lose a friend because of our beliefs. If this happens, we can be encouraged by the words of Peter: "If when you do right and suffer for it you take it patiently, you have God's approval" (1 Peter 2:20, RSV).
Remember, God does not want us to lose friends. If we remember to be kind and honest in our explanations, chances are that we will be able to maintain our relationships. But regardless of the outcome, we can always take comfort in God's promise to remain faithful to those who respect and obey Him. As the Scripture explains, He will "never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5).YU
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