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Extending Our Hand to the Grieving By Joan Osborn We will all come in contact with someone who has lost someone close to them. What's the best thing to say and do? Probably the same things you'd like to hear.
he loss of a loved one can be devastating. As a friend we often need to help someone cope with such a loss. Often we are unsure of how to help our friends and family as they cope with their grief. Should we offer assistance or should we give them space, time, and privacy? Uncertain about what will be best for the grieving person, we sometimes choose to avoid those who have just suffered a loss. Though this choice may be the easiest, it is not the best. Those who are grieving need the support of their friends and family--they need our helping hand. God offers us comfort in His scriptures for our benefit during the difficult time of bereavement. Even with the assurance of God's presence and His comfort, there will still be a time of suffering, for grief is a natural process. This process can take quite awhile before it actually subsides. We need to be sure to remember our grieving friends and relatives far beyond the few days and weeks after the funeral. Grief can take on a number of steps. The last of those steps is closure. For some this closure may be years in coming, for some it may never come. Perhaps this is why James tells us that part of "true and undefiled religion is to visit the widows and fatherless in their affliction" (James 1:27). Even those who seem to be handling their loss well are still under stress and need consideration. This is especially true after the initial shock of death begins to wear off. Four months after my father's death, my mother mentioned that she often found herself wandering aimlessly around the house trying to focus. She had spent 61 years of her life using her energies for her husband and family. Now her husband was gone and her children were grown and gone from her household. My mother needed to be gently reminded that what she was going through was natural. She needed the reassurance that her children understood what she was going through and cared about her deeply. As Christians there are a few things we can keep in mind when considering those who are grieving:
So when is the grieving process over? For some, who have suffered the devastating loss of a spouse, child, or parent, it may never be over in any formal sense. This lack of closure may be especially true in the elderly, who have spent most of their lives with their mates. Grief may be the reason why many older widows and widowers often follow their spouses closely in death. The person we have lost will always be a part of us. If you have never suffered the loss of someone close to you it may be hard to empathize fully with someone who has; yet, as Christians we have a responsibility to show each other loving concern under all circumstances. Remember James' words about the fatherless and the widows and be an example by extending your helping hand. For Further Reading What really happens at death? Why do we even have to die? Can we know if there is life beyond the grave? Where can we go for meaning and believeable answers? To find out, just to get your free copy of What Happens After Death? Copyright 1999 by United Church of God, an International Association All rights reserved. |
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Keywords: grief
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