Information Related to "The Empty Nest"
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The Empty Nest By Robert Berendt Society has changed a great deal ever since farming stopped being the norm for families. But how has the family dynamic changed as a result?
s little as fifty years ago, a large proportion of people lived on farms and in small communities. Each family consisted of parents with about four children, and parents looked forward to leaving their lives' work to their children. Farmers hoped at least one of their sons would take over the family farm. That meant that the other three children would be somewhere else (girls, for instance usually married and moved to wherever their husbands lived). The farm always remained "home" to all of the children -- a gathering place. There were many small towns around and school was within walking distance. The development of huge pieces of farming equipment and the ability to work far more land than any ten farmers could handle in the past has changed the landscape of our society. People have flocked to larger and larger cities, and small towns are dying out and the family farm is quickly disappearing.
A growing international interaction has made the whole world almost like our back yard. Added to this scene is the requirement for years of schooling to obtain a good job. Young people are putting off starting their marriages and families until they are well settled in a career, and that means until they are 30-something years old. The result is that many parents rarely see their own children. Parents who are growing old and who ought to be enjoying the fruits of their labors are left to wonder if their children are well, seeing their grandchildren only on rare occasions and for short periods of time. The grandparents often have little impact on the grandchildren, and visits to their children's homes can be strained. Only parents who have experienced the empty nest will truly understand what I mean.
We live in a world of reality. And reality is that jobs exist in cities, which are not always, of our own choosing. Our children marry others from another area of the land and, in many cases, another nation. What are the solutions? Children who become adults and develop a nuclear family are also at risk of missing out on rewarding spiritual values that God has developed. Loneliness is a mental condition, brought on by the sense of loss and longing. "The best things in life are free" is an old saying. That is true. You cannot buy love, friendship, trust, concern, hope or truth. These are outgrowths of living according to the directions of our Creator. Honoring your parents is a deed or act that brings about love, appreciation, contentment and the spiritual gifts we all truly treasure. God does indicate that in marriage we are to leave our parent's home (Ephesians 5:31). There are times when we have no choice. Wars, famine, economic factors and the will of God all play a part.
There are two wonderful stories in the Bible about men who had to leave their homes and families. The stories of Jacob and Joseph tell of long periods of time in which they were far from home and out of contact with their parents. Times were very different then. No telephones, poor highways and slow travel, no postal services and no means of recording the movements of others. If a person moved, it was rare that anyone knew where he or she finally ended up. Families lost members all too often. Jacob was forced to leave due to his own act of deception towards his brother and betrayal of his father. He must have suffered within himself all the years he was away. He faced the danger of his brother Esau's wrath by returning to the land of his father Isaac.
Empty nests are often our own design. Loneliness along with the pain of the loss of this love stays with us and only fades with time. God indicates it ought not to be this way! Further reading For more interesting information on the family, request or download our free booklet Copyright 2010 by United Church of God, an International Association All rights reserved. |
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Keywords: farms family farm urbanization empty nest
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