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Lessons Learned From King David's Family By Graemme Marshall How can we understand God's testimony of King David as "a man after My own heart, who will do all My will" (Acts 13:22), when we see his failed family example?
od had a destiny for the shepherd boy chosen to be the king to bring expansion to the nation of Israel. The outcome of his life's walk with God will culminate in his becoming the future millennial king of Israel (Ezekiel 37:24). How do we put into focus his family relationships? Culture There must have been times as a new father that David rejoiced in a newborn son or daughter. Like us, he no doubt delighted in their childhood. But as a father who had a least eight wives plus "more" and some 20 children plus "other sons," he could not, as one man, emotionally supply what they all independently needed. Polygamy was not God's intent. The lesson could have been learned from the patriarchs or the recent example of Saul and his harem. Sadly, culture played its hand with David who, following Saul's precedent, took on the tragic chain of events leading to the breakup of his family. Each generation seems bent on having to learn for themselves. The royal harem, with its palace intrigues, could only produce an unequal love from a father. Busy with expanding the kingdom, he may have had little time for children except his favorites, like Absalom. Regrettably, David's inner character did not rub off on the son he loved most.
Because David failed to act with Amnon, Absalom took justice into his own hands by ordering his servants to murder his half-brother. Absalom then fled to his grandfather, the King of Geshur, and remained in exile. After five years, he was restored to the palace court. David appeared unaware or unable to prevent this son's ambition that led to a successful palace coup against him. Here a much-loved son would not return that love to his father. (Is this a type of the Heavenly Father's love for a sinful, uncaring world?) When David later gave orders before engaging Absalom's rebel army he said, "Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom" (2 Samuel 18:5). But David's commanders knew a rebellion could not be successfully crushed if its leader wasn't executed.
Passion and the "stripes of men" Lovingly, God forgives sin, as He did David's. But there is a price to pay -- the law of cause and effect. To wayward but repentant children, God converts the effect of our sin into needy purifying. As He dealt with David, so He'll deal with us. He will forgive, but He may also use the rod (paddle). He will restore us to favor, yet require us to drink the bitterness our sin brings. We learn through David's family tragedies that, when we choose an action, we also choose its consequences.
God was not going to allow David's pagan enemies to conclude His King could have an heir through murder and adultery. All was fulfilled. The "stripes of the children of men" (2 Samuel 7:14, King James Version) was God as Father disciplining His children for sin. God was chastening David, his chosen one, while David's own children are yet to face future repentance. For David, paying the price unfolded in his inability as a father to lovingly guide a polygamous household. Even in death, there is failure The account of David's dying doesn't illustrate a loving devoted family hovering around his bedside. Instead, cold-hearted political forces were at work. Adonijah, David's oldest son, is more concerned about being the next king than about his dying father. He initiates a crowning of himself supported by Joab, the military commander, and Abiathar, the priest. How could a son be so uncaring, so openly ambitious? Perhaps it's not too unlike family squabbles today over inheritance before on has even died!
It leaves us with sobering thoughts about the importance of early childhood training. "The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother" (Proverbs 29:15), and "Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul" (verse 17). Like many today, David didn't seem to get much rest from his children during his lifetime. While David's family life was unsuccessful, he will be the king of Israel in the Millennium -- and He truly was a man after God's own heart. Despite our best efforts, increased child and family knowledge, we may also be thwarted by culture, passion and "the stripes of men" (2 Samuel 7:14). In the world to come, David will find rest and delight in all his children. And we, too, like him, will share in that marvelous parental delight. Until Christ returns, may we learn the lessons taught through the lives of King David and others to nurture our own healthy family relationships. Copyright 2008 by United Church of God, an International Association All rights reserved. |
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