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Do You Know Your Father?
By Doug Horchak

A physical father is a type of our spiritual Father. How can we come to understand our spiritual Father better?

ost people spend the first 18 to 20 years of their lives with their parents. What I know of my dad I learned during the time I spent with him as a young boy growing up. At age 5, I really didn't think about my relationship with him in a very serious way. As I look back, however, virtually everything I know about my father--how he walked, how he talked, how he thought, what he liked and what he excelled at--I learned by spending time doing things and talking with him as a small boy.

As a young boy

Some of my fondest memories were of the trips we took in the summer months to go fishing for brook trout in the streams of northwest Michigan. After deciding on the weekend we would go, my father would plan ahead for the food and bedding, prepare the old tent we had and gather the fishing tackle and gear we would need. We didn't have much in terms of fancy equipment, but my father used what we had. Dad taught us the basics of fishing--from baiting and setting the hook, to caring for the small trout after we caught them. While my brothers and I were always excited about the prospect of actually catching the fish, I learned many things about my dad and his personality when we spent time together on these fishing trips.

Of course, the camping and fishing trips during the months of summer were not the only occasions I had for learning about my dad. My father was a real "Mr. Fix-it." He was a household handyman that seemed to know all of the basics of carpentry, plumbing and mechanics. At the time, it seemed he could fix almost anything. He taught me the value of preparation for a work project and the importance of doing a job right the first time. Of course, part of the reason I remember that "lesson" so well is that, as a young boy, I occasionally didn't do things right the first time, and often paid the price!

Nonetheless, as I look back, at an early age I really didn't really set out to have or build a "relationship" with my dad. As with most children, the relationship just happened. As a toddler and as a young boy, my dad was a part of my life in many ways. And the many hours spent with him during those formative years often made me want to be like him.

Of course, my dad was human. He wasn't perfect. He had shortcomings as all of us do. Yet despite those, I remember some of the qualities he had that I unconsciously tried to imitate. That is true with most children as they grow up.

Another Father

While the relationship with my dad took years to build, in time I came to learn that there is another father concerned about me and active in my life.
While the relationship with my dad took years to build, in time I came to learn that there is another Father concerned about me and active in my life. When I was very young, I had little firsthand knowledge of this "other Dad." This other Dad was involved in my life long before I fully realized. The other "Father" I am talking about is God--the Creator of the universe.

When a young person first hears about the need to have a personal relationship with God, they often ask (with good reason) how someone is supposed to have a "relationship" with a being that they have never met, cannot see and have not heard! That question has plagued mankind for centuries and continues to affect the way human beings view the entire concept of God. History has shown that despite humanity's ignorance of the true God, mankind is, nonetheless, searching for meaning to his existence and does not want to believe we are alone in the universe.

Close encounters

In recent years, there were a few movies that illustrated mankind's passion for having contact with other intelligence or beings in the universe. The most famous of these movies were Steven Spielberg's Close Encounters and E.T. The intriguing thing about these movies was the fictional portrayal of humanity realizing that they were not alone in the universe. These motion pictures were an immediate hit at the box office and were an example of the deep curiosity in people and the strong desire of humanity to believe that we are not alone.

More recently, the movie Contact depicted a young scientist's passion for understanding the universe and her quest for finding "extraterrestrial" life. In the end, the main character, played by actress Jodie Foster, had "contact" with the supreme intelligence of the universe--a god-like being that informed her that mankind was not alone and there was a greater purpose for their existence in the universe. The plot and storyline of the movie ended with many unanswered questions. Yet it was another example of man's longing to understand his existence and communicate with "other intelligence" in our universe. Man does not like the idea of "being alone."

Man is not alone

But...human beings can know they are not alone in this vast universe. The apostle Paul explained that one of the great "proofs" of God's existence was the physical creation around us. In Romans 1:19-20, Paul said, "Because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God hath shown it to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse."

Those of you that have an understanding of the true God should pursue an active relationship with Him. While God, His power and His plan are as real as the sun that rises and sets every day--without making an effort to have a real relationship with Him, one cannot hope to have a living realization of His part in our everyday lives.

When I was young, before I began to have a knowledge of the true God, I was taught that any communication or relationship with God had to be through the clergy or another human being. In essence, I was taught that I could not have a "personal" relationship with my Creator--but only a distant one through human mediators and a religious hierarchy. That is where my understanding of "a relationship with God" actually was formed. However, despite all of the fiction and mystery surrounding man having "contact" with a higher power, establishing actual contact and building a personal relationship with our creator God can be achieved by following the same principles we have learned on the human level.

Communication and time are the key

Developing a relationship with God is not so different from developing a relationship with anyone else. You must spend time together. You must share your intimate thoughts, feelings and desires. You must connect. You must listen.

While these actions may seem obvious (especially as it relates to interaction we have with friends), spending time talking and sharing your innermost feelings and needs is vital in establishing a relationship with God. But how and where does one start? How do we communicate with God and what do we talk about?

How the Bible explains it

Actually, the Bible provides a clear answer. A passage that is central in explaining a relationship with God is in the book of Matthew. In this passage, Jesus is teaching His disciples (followers who are learning from Him) how to pray. Prayer was not unknown at that time, but many people prayed to idols or simply recited words over and over. Unfortunately, many people still do that today in the name of their god.

A personal relationship with our Creator God can be achieved by following the same principles we have learned on the human level.
Christ's disciples wanted to know how to communicate with the Father. Jesus gave them this example in an outline or "model prayer" in Matthew 6:9: "In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one."

The first two words of this model prayer tell us a great deal about relationships. Notice that Jesus starts out with the word our, not the word my. The reason is that God is not only the Father of the person praying, but of many others also. In this context, the our includes the relationship with other people who truly look to Him. It includes those people of God's Church. In that sense, Christ's model for prayer assumed our relationship with other brethren as our spiritual family in His Church.

In addition, the word Father implies a unique relationship with God. Note that the relationship is not that of a wife to a husband, two people dating one another or a neighbor to another neighbor. It is the relationship of a child to a father.

Establishing the relationship

There are some religions that teach that your "contact" with God must go through another person. The Bible says that is simply not true. You can talk to God directly through prayer. That is, praying is a way of talking to God. The Bible tells us that God listens to our prayers, and we can use the model prayer above to get us started. You will notice it basically contains four parts:

  • Recognition of God as creator--realizing to whom we are speaking .
  • Requests made of God--expressing our needs.
  • Asking for forgiveness--acknowledging our mistakes and need to change.
  • Requests to keep us from temptation--asking for God's protection and guidance in life.

In recognizing God as our creator and provider--it is also vitally important to be reminded of the many blessings that really do come from Him. Thankfulness and appreciation are very important elements in our communication with God as well. "Giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ," says Paul in Ephesians 5:20.

So many people have been brought up believing that God wants or even requires words in prayer to be eloquently composed, with an adequate number of "thees" and "thous"! This is not the case. God is one that looks upon the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). Your sincerity when talking to God is the most important element of your communication. While the Bible talks about the advantage of praying in a private place, God wants to hear from us anytime and anywhere, whenever we have the need to talk with Him.

The Bible is God's communication

But that relationship will be incomplete unless we begin to listen to Him by reading His Word--the Bible.
You may say to yourself that you have talked to God, but wondered why He has never talked to you. That's a good question that does have an answer. God speaks to us through the Bible. The Bible was provided by God through His servants so that you could know who God is, what God is like, how God thinks and how He feels. The Bible is God's instruction book and His "Word." It is one of God's main ways of "speaking" to those that seek Him, those that desire to communicate and have a relationship with Him.

Praying to God is essential, but that relationship will be incomplete unless we begin to listen to Him. We listen to Him by reading His Word--the Bible. God's Word provides answers to many of the tough questions of life, in addition to giving us advice on how to live.

To get to know more about the Bible, send for our free booklet,

Take time with Him

All of you reading this article have a father. While there may be some exceptions, many of you came to know your dads during the time that you spent together. You can have a growing relationship with your spiritual Father, as well. The more time we spend with God, the more we get to know Him--and the more we will want to model our lives after Him. Whether we have realized it or not, God is already involved in our lives. As His children, we need to take the time to begin talking with Him to build a meaningful relationship. A relationship that will last for eternity.

Copyright 2001 by United Church of God, an International Association All rights reserved.


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Keywords: fathers God as father knowing God prayer Bible study 

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