Information Related to "Saving Marriage: Beyond Constitutional Amendments"
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And I now pronounce you husband and wife!" These or similar words have long marked the union between a man and a woman in marriage, the time-honored institution that has been the bedrock of stability for society.
When several judges and other government officials in some American states broadened the definition of marriage to include same-sex unions last year, thousands of couples took vows to legitimize their relationships. Conservative Christians and others cried foul. The traditional meaning of marriage, they insisted, must be preserved. The consequences of changing marriage would be dire, they warned, including the destruction of the traditional family, staggering health-care costs, impair-ment of religious freedom and suffering of children.
Their opponents called them hypocrites. Could both have been right? Let's examine what the Bible teaches and compare that to the current efforts of professing Christians to save marriage. You may be surprised by what we find.
Same-sex relationships: What does the Bible say?
The biblical position on same-sex marriage is not difficult to understand. Moses, under God's inspiration, wrote: "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination" (Leviticus 18:22).
The apostle Paul reaffirms the unacceptable nature of this lifestyle in his letter to the Corinthian church: "Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders . . . will inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Corinthians 6:9-10, New International Version). Unless there is real repentance, the ultimate penalty remains the same: "The wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23).
Some Corinthian church members had repented of and forsaken these unacceptable lifestyles. "And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God" (1 Corinthians 6:11, NIV, emphasis added).
The Bible clearly states that "marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled" (Hebrews 13:4). There is permanence and social stability in the exhortation, "Man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh" (Ephesians 5:31). This family unit has been the basis of social and economic stability for millennia.
That is in serious danger of changing if proponents of same-sex marriage have their way. Still, the matter is far from settled. The conservative political base in America is actively pursuing legislation and constitutional amendments at the state and federal levels to preserve the traditional meaning of marriage.
However, recent studies, even within the ranks of this conservative base, indicate that marriage is in much deeper trouble than one might first expect. The advent of same-sex marriage may be more symptomatic of the moral mind-set of the nation than merely a legal issue. Stated bluntly: Marriage is under assault from many sides, and it will take more than a constitutional amendment—much more—to save it.
Declining support for biblical standards
Consider these statistics: 52 percent of those who profess to be "born-again" Christians do not believe divorce for reasons other than adultery is a sin. They are just as likely to divorce as non-Christians. And 49 percent of born-again Christians believe cohabitation—men and women living together outside of marriage—is morally acceptable. Only half of Protestant pastors have a biblical worldview. Only 1 in 10 born-again teenagers believes in absolute moral truth.
These statistics, compiled by respected religious pollster George Barna, are quite an indictment against today's religious establishment. Clearly, the larger Christian community has failed to integrate basic tenets into daily lives. A profession of Christian belief does not ensure the practice of Christian principles and standards. Sadly, marriage has little chance of surviving in such an environment.
Interestingly, Paul's letter to the Romans, which describes homosexual relationships as "vile passions" (Romans 1:26), has equally strong words for those who deliberately oppose the behavioral standards revealed in God's Word. "For the wrath of God," Paul declares, "is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because what may be known of God is manifest in them . . ." (verses 18-19).
To suppress the truth, Paul maintains, is deliberate "unrighteousness" that blinds their thinking and reasoning. "And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting" (verse 28).
Paul lists a number of "unfitting" behaviors that debased minds produce, including sexual immorality, pride, lack of spiritual understanding and deceit (verses 29-31). What is worse, according to Paul, these individuals "not only continue to do these evil things, they applaud others who do them" (verse 32, New Century Version).
What can be done?
Clearly, society at large and a huge number of professing Christians have lost their way. What then can be done?
If marriage is to survive, the undiluted Word of God with respect to marriage must be taught today with the same force it was given in the first century by the apostle Paul and others. Mincing the Scriptures to fit contemporary and ungodly perspectives will not save marriage.
Neither will preaching "old-time damnation" that evokes only fear and emotion but produces little or no sustainable change. What society needs is a clear delineation between right and wrong—plain and simple so people can make informed moral choices.
The uncensored Word of God has an amazing capacity and authority to give clear direction. It becomes, as King David said, a "lamp" to our feet that guides us down a safe path in our journey through life (Psalm 119:105).
The supreme authority
God is the supreme authority. His authoritative instructions are written down for us in the Bible. Jesus Christ, God's incarnate Son, acknowledged, recognized and submitted to this authority.
The prophet Isaiah, in a widely recognized messianic prophecy, foretold the Messiah's attitude on this matter. "His delight is in the fear of the LORD," the prophet explained (Isaiah 11:3)—centuries before Jesus Christ so eloquently expressed the prophecy's fulfillment: "My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work" (John 4:34).
Jesus consistently acknowledged the supremacy of God in everything He did: "I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me" (John 5:30). His life's work demonstrates His unwavering commitment to yield to the will of the Father in word and deed.
The yielded mind or attitude of Christ, which Paul exhorts us to emulate, is at the foundation of what it will take to save marriage. This attitude cannot be constitutionally legislated; it must be sincerely embraced by each individual.
Jesus Christ recognized God as the only supreme authority and source for universal truth. "Your word is truth," He declared (John 17:17). This universal truth provides timeless principles to direct our lives. Jesus taught His followers that "you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" (John 8:32).
Recognizing, yielding to and ordering our lives according to universal truth revealed by a higher authority is clearly being out of step in our self-determined society. The notion that yielding one's will to God is a delight and that embracing and living within the restrictions of God's law brings freedom is scoffed at by today's freethinkers.
Sadly, this attitude of self-determination, standing in stark contrast to the teachings and example of Christ, has infiltrated the professing Christian community. When half of pastors surveyed lack a biblical worldview, is it any wonder that their constituents fail to recognize that divorce "for just any reason" (Matthew 19:3-6) is not biblically justifiable? Or that they don't see unmarried cohabitation as morally unacceptable? Or that teenagers don't believe in absolute truth?
Without a biblical worldview based firmly in the Scriptures, even pastors unwittingly suppress the truth. And their parishioners reap the predictable consequence described by Paul.
Clearly, if marriage is to be saved, a lot of work must be done on the home front—among professing Christians. It must begin by moving beyond simply professing Christ to actually practicing what He taught—delighting, as He did, in the laws of God, which are an expression of love.
God is the author of marriage
Make no mistake. Marriage derives its definition and authority from God rather than from contemporary cultural ideas. Jesus Christ explained the original intent of marriage: "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:4-6).
These words of Christ, spoken nearly 2,000 years ago, should give us encouragement because His perspective remains unchanged. In a society with ever-changing values, Christ's definition of -appropriate moral conduct, including that relating to marriage, remains the same. From the beginning, marriage was intended by God as a union between a man and a woman.Even in Jesus' day, many had lost sight of the true meaning of the marriage bond. Apparently it was common to divorce one's wife "for just any reason," a concept Jesus was asked about in Matthew 19:3. When He disagreed, even His disciples were surprised. Their initial response was, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry" (verse 10). That response is indicative of the tendency of human beings to ignore God's instructions and drift away from the way of life He has revealed to us.
Paul explained to the Romans that those who had suppressed divinely revealed truth "did not like to retain God in their knowledge." Hence, "God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting" (Romans 1:28). These words are strong, but also very instructive. When people reject God, bad things happen.
Consider how we got to the present moral crisis concerning marriage. In the 19th century those who "professed to be wise" dispensed with the Creator in favor of the Darwinian theory of evolution. This shook the foundation of the purpose for marriage. Without a Creator the institution of marriage had lost its moral foundation.
The sexual revolution of the 20th century dispensed with the permanence of the marital relationship in lieu of newfound sexual freedom. And finally, it appears that those "professing to be wise" wish to redefine or dispense with marriage altogether by sanctioning all types of sexual relationships between same-sex and multiple partners.
Paul explained the pattern in his message to the Romans. First there is the rejection of creation in which "His invisible attributes are clearly seen." Then God gives them over to a "debased mind," which results in all kinds of depravity from sexual immorality (adultery, fornication, etc.) to "vile passions," defined by Paul as homosexual activity. Rejecting God as our Creator distorts the mind.
Marriage doesn't come with a divorce clause
Marriage was intended by God to form a union that transcends all human relationships. A man and woman are to become one flesh, and what God has joined no one is to trivially separate. Contrast God's intent with the accepted practice of our current culture where divorce is an accepted and easy exit strategy to the marriage covenant. Prenuptial agreements even define the terms much like a termination clause in a business contract. However, this permissive view is incompatible with sound Scriptural teaching.
In a study released in September 2004, pollster George Barna found that "although many Christian churches attempt to dissuade congregants from getting a divorce, the research confirmed a finding identified by Barna a decade ago (and further confirmed through tracking studies conducted each year since): born again Christians have the same likelihood of divorce as do non-Christians."
The divorce rate for professed born again Christians was "statistically identical to the figure among non-Christians." This should not be so. Christ makes it clear that He expects those who would be His followers to follow a different standard; to be the salt of the earth and light to the world (Matthew 5:13-14).
Could it be that the light among the professing Christian community has been so dimmed by a mediocre attitude toward commitment in marriage that the current calls to abolish or prohibit same-sex marriage are justifiably viewed by its proponents as hypocritical?
Jesus Christ expects His followers to walk the walk, not just talk the talk. "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven," He said, "but he who does the will of My Father in heaven" (Matthew 7:21).
All sex outside marriage is sin
The New Testament puts sex outside of marriage between heterosexual partners in the same category as sex between same-sex partners—sin! Sin with enormous physical and spiritual consequences! In New Testament parlance such sins are against the body. Paul says: "Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body" (1 Corinthians 6:18).
With the proliferation of sexually transmissible diseases these timeless words of Paul ring true. Millions have literally died because they "sinned against their bodies" by engaging in elicit sexual behavior.
Paul reveals a different purpose, a higher standard: "Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body . . . Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not!" (1 Corinthians 6:13-15).
For a genuinely committed Christian, the human body is much more than a sex object. "Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit . . . and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's" (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
Premarital sex is no laughing matter
The movies might depict that first fling as fortuitous fun. The high school social scene makes sex the ultimate expression of passion. Some see it as a test of manhood. Adults giggle at these youthful indiscretions.
These attitudes simply highlight our contemporary moral state. According to the New Testament, premarital sex, as with extramarital sex in general, is no laughing matter: "fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4). Strong language yes, but strong dilution requires a strong antidote to be effective.
Sex outside of marriage brings all kinds of undesirable consequences, not to mention spiritual alienation from God. Movies, music and popular culture suppress this truth and even millions of professing Christians suffer from the consequences these promiscuous lifestyles bring.
Marriage preservation begins with you
Marriage is vital. Marriage is a God-ordained institution that must be preserved or the cost to our society will be incalculable. But if marriage is to survive, more is required than constitutional amendments—much, much more.
Action is required on the home front. Those who still believe in the institution of marriage must shed cultural influences and practice what they proclaim to believe. They must embrace the challenge to preserve marriage by preserving it among their own ranks. No constitutional amendment is required to do that!
All of us need to put on the mind of Christ (Philippians 2:5) and embrace the truth about marriage as delivered by God through His prophets, Jesus Christ and His apostles. We can only change the world one family at a time. So let's get started today. GN
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Keywords: same sex marriage homosexuality Biblical standards marriage, origin of divorce extramarital sex
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