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A popular theory holds that "good divorces" - where separated couples remain on relatively good terms - are harmless to children and parents. But a recent study shows this idea has no basis in reality.
The study from Pennsylvania State University, which examined 1,000 families, found that the children of friendlier divorces faced the same sort of problems as those kids from bitter, acrimonious divorces. Although children of non-hostile divorces had fewer behavioral problems during their teen years, they nevertheless had, like their peers from unfriendly divorces, self-esteem problems, dissatisfaction with life, tendency to smoke and try drugs, and lower grades.
Experts hope these findings will prod divorce counselors to make greater effort to encourage couples to try harder to save their marriages and to provide better counseling for children of "good divorces" (Fiona MacRae, "A Divorce Can Never Be Good for Children No Matter How Amicable It Is, Says Study," Telegraph.co.uk, Feb. 2, 2012).
God created marriage as a binding union between man and woman for life. Believing that breaking this physical and emotional bond carries no consequence is sorely naive. Marriage is serious. Premarital counseling and even pre-engagement counseling with a minister or wise counselor is important for young people considering marriage. Going into marriage with divorce as an easy-out option isn’t a stable foundation for building a future and a family.
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