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Appreciating the Aging Process
By Graemme Marshall

There are challenges for an older person. But getting old isn't the end. It is, in fact, a new venture that only the elderly can appreciate.

ut the godly will flourish like palm trees... Even in old age they will still produce fruit; they will remain vital and green" (Psalm 92:12,14, New Living Translation).

The opportunity for older people is a new level of learning

Psalm 92 is positively encouraging: Part of the blessing of being among the godly is that older people are able to find a new goal for this critical stage of life, becoming productive and fruitful. Instead of focusing on time running out, it is more positive to make the most of each day. There are different priorities when time is shorter. The story of the aggressive young salesman trying to sell an insurance policy to a ninety-five-year-old man illustrates this -- despite polite refusal from the elderly gentleman, the young man still persisted. Finally the old man said, "Look, young fellow, you don't seem to understand. At my age, I don't even buy green bananas." If every day is welcomed with a joy for God's Truth, you'll never feel too old. You will just keep on growing.

Contrasting the last days of David and his friend Barzillai

It is important to keep a positive, humorous outlook on aging because God designed the process. It's not the act of a vengeful God, but a loving one.
After David fled Jerusalem from a coup by his son Absalom, the rebels were miraculously defeated and David once again began a return to the city. A good friend, Barzillai, had provided for him and his entourage. As they began the some 50-kilometer return, David asked his good friend to go with him and be a court confidant. Barzillai's response illustrates old age and its limitations. Scripture says he was "very old" at 80 years (2 Samuel 19:31-37, NLT). He knew he lived day-by-day and may have doubted whether he would even survive the journey. His physical state included impaired hearing and faulty taste buds. He realized he was quite unable to serve in a court environment. His focus was now on remaining close to his hometown, where his ancestors were buried. With no refrigeration in those days, men and women were buried (except for the embalmed) close to they died. He wanted to put his affairs in order and remain in familiar surroundings while awaiting his death.

By contrast, David had no peaceful end. At 70, he was surrounded by palace succession intrigues, plagued by body circulation problems and had a stranger tending him rather than his wife (1 Kings 1:1-2). He records in a Psalm how he endured insincere flattery, disease problems and disloyal former friends (Psalm 41:5-9). Some of us will face our last days somewhere between the experiences of Barzillai and David.

What does God intend for us to learn from the aging process?

We try to counter aging's effects with light-hearted banter. Popular seniors' anecdotes illustrate this: "When I bend down to tie up my shoes, I look around to see what else can be done while I'm down there," "These days, my back goes out more than I do," or, "When I go downstairs to get something, I often wonder whether I'm coming or going." It is important to keep a positive, humorous outlook on aging because God designed the process. It's not the act of a vengeful God, but a loving one.

Positives to appreciate

Aging brings maturity and mellowing, born from experience. There is a digestion of life and an assimilation of loss and grief. There is the realization of Job, who said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return there; the LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD" (Job 1:21). Paul explained, "For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out" (1 Timothy 6:7).

The aged have absorbed the blows and wounds of life. Some heal, some scar. The mature no longer feel they must protect some unnecessarily inflexible position. Maturity means composure, with less exuberance or depression. The mature years bring a greater sense of being in control of life. There may be a desire to feel young, but not to be young again. They have too much self-control, ease of interpersonal relations and self-confidence to trade for a youthful mindset again.

Men in maturity

Older men become much more comfortable with themselves and their mates. Aging causes many men to accept their present place on the career ladder; where they are becomes "far enough." Mature men show more affection to their mates and value the part their wives have played in the family. Romantic love can blossom even more. This is the beauty of committed love with lifelong devotion. A lengthy partnership of love in facing good and bad times means a husband and wife are real friends. Committed love over long years yields the highest return on this faithful investment. Looking back on child rearing, men attribute much of the teaching and nurturing to their wives, indicating they themselves were too busy making a living. With fewer financial obligations, they desire more companionship from their marriage relationships.

Women in maturity

While younger women are often vulnerable and dependent on their husbands, mature women are no longer preoccupied by the responsibilities of family life. When children are grown up and leave home, older women have renewed energy to reassess and modify their life. Many women look anew at the positives of their husbands and at their own personal appearance. They are more settled in what they like and dislike. They no longer feel the need to fit in with every fashion, knowing now what best suits them personally. Many develop careers for the first time, or pick up from where they left off when parenthood began. Grand parenting experiences bring pleasure without parental strains.

Giving up driving

Mature men show more affection to their mates and value the part their wives have played in the family. Romantic love can blossom even more.
For many, driving equals independence. The ability to shop, go to church or visit family and friends as you please is prized. The decision to hand over the car keys for good can be very difficult. Most people change their behavior as they get older -- they drive less, and then only to familiar locations, and less at night. Aging brings physical and mental changes that can compromise driving ability, including changes in vision, and motor function. Aging eyes can take longer to adjust to changes in levels of light and dark, making glare and night driving more difficult. Cataracts, glaucoma and macular degeneration can impact visual perception. Arthritis of the neck or hands can make it more difficult to turn the head, switch the foot from the accelerator to the brake and operate other controls. To improve safety, some install wider rearview mirrors. Being prepared to use alternatives, such as taxis, mass transit, senior-center shuttles or other community transportation for seniors can help ease the loss. That said, age alone is not the key measure of whether someone is safe to drive -- many 90-year-old seniors remain good, safe motorists.

The dangers of falls

In 2005, traumatic brain injuries resulting from falls caused nearly 8,000 deaths and 56,000 hospital visits among Americans 65 and older. Statistics show most older adults do not exercise regularly, and 35% over 65 do not participate in any physical leisure activity. "If a person lives in a very cluttered home with telephone cords across the room, loose rugs, etc.," says the Fall Prevention Center of Excellence, "these things are hazards." Falling isn't an inevitable part of the aging process, and there are ways to avoid succumbing to a nasty, or expensive, spill. If you break a hip and end up in a nursing home, very frequently the fracture suffered will keep you in bed. In very bad cases, some never get up again.

Aged concerns at home

Hearing loss can affect watching television, talking on the phone or general conversation. This is where a hearing aid helps. Eyesight problems contribute to misdials on the telephone or failing to see obstructions like mats and carpets. Big-button phones and large-print Bibles help. Arthritis affects the joints, which can make computer use, writing or taking notes at Church or turning the pages of your Bible difficult. Church members who are unaware of arthritic hands can give a strong handshake that pains the hand!

Insecurity over future health costs

Because of age, health insurance restrictions come into force while age-related health conditions continue. The best options for dental, eye, ear and other health needs may now become out of reach financially. Mobility problems and perhaps wheelchairs or walking canes enter your life. And what about winter and walking on ice? Getting in and out of a vehicle also becomes more of a chore.

Concerns at church

Speakers and song leaders have numerous things on their mind and are often unable to adjust to the needs of the whole congregation. The aged and hard of hearing may miss hymn page numbers and so resort to asking someone for help. Speakers may give a verse too quickly for you to recognize or turn to. It might become difficult to stand up for hymns, or to remain seated all through a service. You might need to walk around a little at the rear. You may no longer be able to take notes; it might be enough to just listen. There may be times of bad weather or ill health when you must decide whether to attempt going to services at all. Attending one of God's festivals like the Feast of Tabernacles poses an eight-day long activity that now may cause you to consider whether you can make it. Then there are stairways and entrances. While most of the congregation might have little difficulty, stairs and difficult entrances may pose a barrier for you. With modern electronics, there are cables on the floor which can cause you to trip. And though once upon a time as a young parent you could easily tolerate young children's distractions at services, you might now find this an annoying distraction.

Concerns for prayer and study

There may be times of bad weather or ill health when you must decide whether to attempt going to services at all.
With arthritic knees or knee replacements, getting down on your knees or raising your arms to God might now be a major task. You now discover that you must pray in as good a position as you can. You might now find meditation and reflection more effective than the eyestrain of reading.

An aged opportunity

Reconciliation opportunities always exist, but we often procrastinate and let them slip by. It is of little help to others to wish you'd have said something to make up for a past mistake. Have you heard people say after the death of a loved one, "I wish I'd said such and such to them before they went"? Each day is a window of opportunity to help correct any past mistakes. The mellowing of age equips you to forgo pride in favor of doing the right thing. The aged have a realization of how temporally close they might be to the Kingdom of God. They stand on the brink of eternity. They have a sense of daily urgency to be closer to God; to be concerned how their Christian works might be viewed and judged. The final heartbeat is not an end -- but a grand beginning.

Further reading

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Copyright 2010 by United Church of God, an International Association All rights reserved.


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