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Are You Missing Something?
By Phyllis Newton

There is a unique opportunity out there for you. It is an opportunity that will make you feel good about yourself while helping others.

hat doesn't take money? What isn't physically strenuous? What doesn't require a lot of time? What offers a chance to slow down and become less stressed? It is the opportunity to visit one of the ever-increasing number of nursing home residents.

Nursing home residents live in an interesting community that contains people from all walks of life, with distinctive personalities and varied experiences to share. These individuals are living life day by day, just as any other person is. They have raised families, held jobs, attended to daily needs, and have grown old. Their wealth of experience and knowledge can help us along the way in life.

The last years of the individual's life can be the most difficult. A resident, like everyone, needs reassurance, security, a sense of belonging, a sense of self, and human interaction. No matter what the physical or mental condition may be, a nursing home resident has human needs just like anyone else.

I had an aunt who was in the last stages of Alzheimers. We thought we didn't need to visit her very often because she couldn't possibly be aware of our presence. However, the aide at the home where my aunt was living said that after she had company, she was easier to feed. Human touch and the sound of a caring voice have a way of reaching one's spirit.

Personal relationships are of vital importance in this fractured world. Visiting a nursing home resident is an opportunity to gain a precious relationship! Some may be tempted to say, "I can't do that! The people are weird!" Enjoy their quirks. Sure, they may not be just like they used to be. These individuals are simply in another phase of life. Learn from them. You can gain wisdom, and they in turn can benefit from your youthfulness and energy. The whole experience will make you feel younger too. A personal relationship with a nursing home resident is a win-win situation for it benefits all who participate in it.

The following is a list of ideas and things to keep in mind when visiting a nursing home resident.

  • Your visit does not have to be long. What is important is your presence. Frequent short visits are effective because they give continuous company. You might preface your visit with, "I was just on my way to the store, and thought I would stop by." Or "I had a few minutes and thought I would share them with you." These spur of the moment visits can really brighten someone's day.
  • Make a realistic commitment to visit a nursing home resident. Be sure to consider whether the visits will fit your schedule and life style before you make a commitment. Let the one responsible for the resident's care know of your intentions, so they can prepare the resident for the visits accordingly.
  • Be a good guest. Longer visits should be planned rather than spur of the moment. The staff are usually happy to help in arranging a private setting for a visit, as well as to give information about what the resident can and cannot do.
  • Dress up for the occasion. If possible, wear bright clothes or jewelry. Taking the extra effort to look really nice will make the resident feel special.
  • Be interested in the resident's environment; perhaps they can show you around the facility.
  • Say hello to the other residents and staff. A simple greeting and smile can go a long way in creating a pleasant atmosphere.
  • Keep your conversation pleasant and simple.
  • Maintain good eye contact. Avoid changing the subject of conversation too quickly. Try to talk slowly and distinctly. Be patient in listening for a response. Talk about details of ordinary things in an effort to involve them in your life.
  • Comment on pictures or decorations with a compliment. Mention the weather, or better still see, take them outside if it is permitted.
  • Talk about their family, their hobbies, and compliment them on their looks. Ask their opinion or comment on some news, or a problem you have; you may be surprised at some of sharp answers you receive. Encourage reminiscence, but keep them in the present by making comparisons between the two time frames.
  • Eat a meal together. Or, keep it simple with just tea or coffee and a dessert. Perhaps you can bring them an old-fashioned malt or a bowl of ice cream.
  • You might time your visit with one of their favorite TV shows and watch the program together.
  • You can play cards or a board game, or work a crossword or jigsaw puzzle together.
  • Bring an activity to work on together. Knitting, putting together a picture album, writing a letter, or even whittling, can be fun.
  • Bring a small gift. A small box of candy, a piece of fruit, a balloon with a special message, or a flower to wear for the day are all good demonstrations of your concern for the individual.

Take the opportunity to visit a nursing home resident. It is an opportunity that will bring pleasure and value to both you and the resident. It is also a way to be a light by practicing true religion as described by the disciple James (1:27).

Copyright 2000 by United Church of God, an International Association All rights reserved.


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Keywords: nursing homes visiting human contact 

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