Information Related to "What Disability Can't Do to You"
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What Disability Can't Do to You By Cecil Maranville For some, disability means an end to a real life. But, for others it's a challenge to adapt and do things they never thought they could do.
little girl walks through the shopping mall, tightly gripping her mother's hand as they pass by a man in a wheelchair. With disarming innocence, the child loudly asks, "Mommy, why is that man in a funny chair?" The child isn't rude; she is simply frank and open. She has noticed that this person is different from the average person and is honestly curious. Mom, however, is horrified by her child's openness. Embarrassed, she whispers, "Shhh!" and quickly leads her daughter away. The disabled person was "different" -- a fact which was both curious and awkward. If you are the one with the disability, you cannot simply walk away from the awkward challenges this situation presents. "Why is that man in a funny chair?" can now be asked about me, for I have often needed a wheelchair for long periods of time. I have also become familiar with the mental lows which often accompany disability. There has been an overwhelming sense of a loss of control over my life. All standards by which I once measured success -- my career, the freedom to pursue any hobby, the ability to play sports, participating in rough 'n tumble activities with my children -- collapsed along with my health. What about you? How do you feel about yourself now that you have a disability? Are you worth less to yourself? To those around you? Do you struggle with feelings of inadequacy? I was left, in my pain and fatigue, with a profound feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness. Does that sound familiar? You know his name, but do you know his story? The following letter was written by a woman to a friend about a mutual acquaintance on November 14, 1921:
"He's had a brilliant career. Now he is a cripple -- will he ever be anything else?" Therein lies an assumption we need to shake out of the folds of our minds. "Cripple" is an unpleasant-sounding word. It comes from an Old English word meaning to creep or to go low to the ground. It is used in the above letter to convey a sense of pity for "the poor man." (You may wonder why I do not use the term "handicapped." Most organizations which work with people with disabilities, as well as government agencies, are shunning its use due to its origin. The word comes from an Old English game, literally called "hand-in-cap". Players each contributed to a common fund which an umpire held in a cap. The umpire decided who was in need and gave the cap's contents to him. Hence the term "handicap" carries a connotation of condescension with it.) Did you ever analyze what it is that makes a person "whole"? Is it 20/20 vision in both eyes? Is it full use of both arms, hands, all ten fingers and both thumbs? Is it the ability to be ambulatory, that is, to walk around? Is it the ability to run? Is it "perfect" [whatever "perfect" is] hearing? Is it being pain-free and constantly energetic? Is it never aging? It is oh, so easy to assume that a "whole" or "normal" person is one who possesses the average physical abilities of the general population. The negative continuation of that assumption is that a person with a disability -- who clearly has less than average physical abilities -- is somehow less of a person. Here is a surprise which challenges that assumption! The prosperous and successful family in the 1921 letter was the James Roosevelt family. The son who was crippled at age 39, of whom it was assumed he could never be anything but "a cripple", was Franklin Delano Roosevelt! His career was far from being over. With his previous success in serving as an Under Secretary of the Navy he went on to become the longest serving President of the United States, leading it through one of the most challenging times in human existence. Who today thinks of President Roosevelt as a "cripple" whose worth ended at age 39 ? Yet, it is true that throughout campaigning for and serving as President, Franklin Roosevelt could never walk more than a step or two without leaning on someone, usually his son James. Even at that, Roosevelt could never walk without an uncomfortable, cumbersome brace. Most of his time was spent in a wheelchair. Millions of people with chronic pain have benefited from Roosevelt's great accomplishments in a field far removed from political service. He developed and pioneered many fundamental techniques of hydrotherapy, enabling the exercise of painful limbs in warm water. The source of the letter and other information included in this article is a Roosevelt biography, FDR's Splendid Deception by Hugh Gregory Gallagher, "the moving story of Roosevelt's massive disability -- and the intense efforts to conceal it from the public." You might find it inspiring reading. Gallagher adds this shockingly blunt historical sketch of societal and cultural attitudes towards people with disabilities: "Throughout history -- with specific, glorious exceptions -- the crippled [disabled] have been cursed, tormented, abandoned, imprisoned, and killed. The Spartans hurled their disabled citizens off a cliff to their death. Martin Luther believed deformed children were fathered by the devil and killing them was no sin. The Jews banished their cripples, forcing them to beg along the roadside. American Indians took their deformed newborn and buried them alive. In the eighteenth century, the handicapped were confined to asylums -- to be cared for, perhaps, but also to remove their deformed appearance, offensive to sensitive persons, from the streets." Why does disability strike? There is an almost irresistible human urge to ask and answer the question, "Why?" when we see a person with a disability. No less a distinguished group than Jesus' early appointees to the ministry demonstrated this fact. The scriptures record their open question to the Teacher when they happened upon a man who had been blind since birth. "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" [Gospel of John, chapter 9, verse 2] To answer this question, they made an assumption, "This man is blind because someone did something evil. The blindness is the resultant curse." Assuming that to be true, they skipped right to, "Who was the offender?" It is an astounding commentary on human nature when we stop to realize that these men were willing to believe the blind man may have caused his own disability. Following such reasoning, the people believed the man was born blind because he had "sinned" in the womb, as ridiculous as that sounds! Are there still absurd assumptions made about why people have disabilities? Is there a chance that you, or others have assumed that your disability if a result of someone, somewhere having done some evil deed? Don't we all ask the question "Why"? And don't we all make assumptions about the answer? It is hard to lie awake, awash with pain, and not ask "Why me?" We must change our thinking We need to examine our assumptions and be willing to change them! It is a myth that somebody has to have done something evil to bring on either his own or his loved one's disability! It is a myth that a vindictive God is dealing out disabilities as curses. Why is someone, why is anyone, disabled? Why am I disabled? I could spend a lot of time puzzling out the possibilities -- and I have! But I found this to be a useless pursuit. Have you ended up feeling angry because you have a disability? If so, perhaps you have been frustrated in your own pursuit of the "Why me?" question. Universally, disability seems unfair. Let's turn the question around. Why not? There are approximately 49 million United States citizens who have disabilities. That means that between one and two in every ten citizens has a disability! Disability is found at all social and economic positions, as well as at any age level. Until you joined our ranks, you may not have been aware of the statistics, but we all see people with disabilities in the general public every day. Think about what the statistics are telling us: in this present world, it is normal to have people with disabilities. Think that through further. With so many millions in that category, is it sensible to say, "People with disabilities are abnormal"? The sheer numbers declare them to be common. It is, therefore, often fruitless to give any consideration to why any one person may have a disability. It may well be impossible to say for certain. The fact of the matter is, you will find disabilities of various kinds among all peoples. That's always been true! We must shake ourselves free from superstitions of the past, which are still with us in some ways, and come to acknowledge and accept the facts. Paraphrasing another statement of Jesus, "People with disabilities you will always have with you!" You and I just happen to be amongst their number. Some think a disability is an advantage President Franklin Roosevelt had an adviser named Harry Hopkins. During his years of service to the President, Hopkins was dying of cancer. Peter Drucker, in his book The Effective Executive, uses him as an example of the extraordinary effectiveness so often attained by people who are ill or who have a disability:
Look at Stephen Hawking. Does he have a disability? Rarely will you see a body more tormented, more limited, to the observer. But who would say that this brilliant physicist, scientist and author is limited? What "enables" a person? It isn't his sight, hearing or his limbs. It is his mind! Because of that fact, some actually find that a disability can be a boon in disguise. Physical limitations can free the mind of a person who has a disability from matters with which "average" people need to busy themselves. When I say "the mind" I'm including spirit along with intellect. This spiritual feature separates humans from animals; animals cannot create, reason, invent, or achieve anywhere close to human ability. Journalist Terry Anderson endured a terrible ordeal as a hostage of terrorists. Read what he said of the value of his experience as a captive:
"We come closest to God at our lowest moments. It's easier to hear God when you're
stripped of pride and arrogance when you have nothing to rely on except God. It's pretty
painful to get to that point, but when you do, God's there."
He was not physically disabled in the traditional sense. Yet, his captors prevented him from free movement; he had a narrow choice of allowed activities. So, in a real sense, his captivity was much like a disability. But his richly revealing conclusion tells us that his mind was not limited, even though his freedom of movement was! To the contrary, he found his mind or spirit, was actually made keener because of his physical limitations. Obviously, having a disability is not what made Roosevelt, Hopkins, Hawking or Anderson accomplish what they did. That's not the point. The point is: everyone who has a disability can accomplish as much as anyone else -- and just maybe more than he otherwise would -- and, if he allows that physical disability to motivate instead of discourage him. Is every person with a disability automatically made stronger in mind as a result of his physical limitations? No! It depends on the individual, and what he decides to do with his life. The encouragement and understanding of those around him, including family, friends and co-workers, helps so very much. What do you expect of yourself? Is it easy for you to see yourself, restrained by the invisible prison of pain, as normal? A quadriplegic friend of mine in his forties confided in me (years before I was disabled), "People think I am not normal when they see my crippled form. But underneath this exterior, I have all the drives, interests and needs of any man." Now I understand him completely. People with normal drives, interests and needs contribute to their families and communities. We need to admit to ourselves that our contribution will not be in the typical way neighbors might exchange help: "I'll cut your lawn this month while you're on vacation; in return, you can cut mine next month." Often the reality is that we pass along the help we receive to people other than the ones who help us. For example, someone has been cutting my lawn, and I can't "return the favor." Instead, I am using my ability to write this article to help you. I am in essence passing along my neighbor's help to another neighbor. It hasn't been easy for me to come to this realization, for I am the kind of man who is too embarrassed to depend on the help of others for things I used to be able to do without difficulty. (It hasn't even been easy for me to ask my children to help me carry a cup or open a door!) But a community is made up of many individuals, each making his unique contribution. If we stop contributing to our families and communities because we now have some level of disability, it is because we choose to stop, not because having a disability made us stop! Our contribution will likely be different in some ways than before a disability challenged us. Not less; just different. Don't allow pride, the temptation to give up, or feelings of bitterness over your situation block the opportunities you have. You've got to find where you can contribute. I am not trying to make disability sound so attractive that people will be lining up (or falling down -- pardon the humor) to join our ranks! However, since disability is a part of life, I am trying to help us live with it. Too often a person with a disability uses it as an excuse, rather than a prompt. We who have disabilities may frankly find it easier to surrender to the negative pulls of human nature -- to complain, be depressed, cranky, impatient, selfish or unreasonable. But we are not excused from the healthy exercise of self-control! That exercise in itself makes a valuable contribution to any home or community! It can be uncomfortable to have others tending to physical duties and needs which we would much prefer to do ourselves. Sometimes our dignity and sense of privacy suffer. To use the biblical ritual of "foot washing" as an analogy, there is a time to be served. If you recall the story, Jesus performed a job usually done by a common household servant by washing the feet of Peter. That brought a vehement protest from Peter. Jesus pointedly explained that there is a time to sit still and let others serve you! That requires a measure of humility. Now, if we sit still and allow others to do everything for us while we do nothing, that is an unhealthy dose of vanity! (And maybe a touch of self-pity?) How often as a minister have I gone to see people who were suffering through terrible physical ordeals, with the purpose of encouraging them, only to come away from the meeting greatly encouraged myself! I was uplifted by their inner strength. It showed in their cheerfulness, their positive outlook, and their ability to think of the needs of others during their time of great personal need. Truly, they were contributing richly to the community. Do you see yourself as that kind of person? Isn't everyone limited? Aren't all people limited? Can we fly? Can we walk through walls? Can we survive without food, water or shelter? Can we live forever? Can we prevent heartache and trouble from striking our loved ones? Everyone is limited. It's just that not everyone realizes it! We tend to see ourselves in comparison to others, as well as in comparison to the way we used to be. If we use that standard alone to judge our self-worth, we will be deeply discouraged. "I am less than other people -- less of a person than I used to be." It is a short step from that to "I am good for nothing, anymore". Have our modern cultures left behind those superstitious attitudes about people with disabilities? Even though they aren't thrown from cliffs or hidden from public view, people with disabilities are not yet fully integrated into society. Maybe we still labor under a false assumption or two. What you and I do will have something to do with shaping current thinking. Here is the conclusion of the matter: the strength of the spirit must be our focus, not the strength of the body. What are you worth, now that you have a disability? Frankly, your net worth has not changed at all. You are normal. Will you become an even stronger member of your family and community? That depends upon you! Copyright 1999 by United Church of God, an International Association All rights reserved. |
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Other Articles by Cecil Maranville
Origin of article "What Disability Can't Do to You"
Keywords: disability cripple personal challenge
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