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Imagine
that you and some of your friends have been invited to tour a nuclear
power plant. Shortly after you gather outside the plant's entrance
for your scheduled tour, an employee greets you and explains that even
though the official guide isn't available, all of you are welcome
to wander through the plant on your own. "Go ahead and push any
buttons you wish," says the employee. "After all, experiential
learning is fun and you'll be able to see firsthand what happens
as a result."
Without any protective gear or instruction, you and your friends begin wandering around, pushing buttons and looking for fireworks. Whoa! Stop this nightmare! No one in his or her right mind would recommend this course of action. It's a recipe for disaster!
Ironically, this is the approach many have taken to sexual education.
Some mistakenly assume that young people should be free to experiment
with their sexuality whenever and however they would like so they can
develop their own ideas and perspective. Sadly, it's like the imaginary
nuclear power plant tour. Start pushing buttons in a random fashion and
it won't be long before you have a nuclear disaster. Start experimenting
with sex in a random fashion without any instruction and you'll
soon experience tragic consequences that could include emotional pain,
unwanted pregnancy and even sterility or death from
a sexually transmitted disease (STD).
As young people, how we respond to our developing sexuality is one of the most important decisions we will make. Choices made at this time of life directly affect our future success, our health, our marital happiness and even our relationships with God. Sex is thus a critically important subject. And as we might expect, the Bible is filled with instruction regarding this aspect of life.
As the Creator of sexuality in human beings, God is the One who has all the answers. He knows how we were designed and how we can best experience happiness in all areas of life—including sex. Human beings, by themselves and apart from God, don't have all these facts.
God begins His instructions about sex in Genesis, the first book of the Bible, and continues adding information all the way through the concluding book of Revelation. Good and bad decisions in this area are recorded in many of the other books, too.
So what are some of the important truths regarding sexuality? What information do young people need to know so they can avoid disasters and experience the happiness God intends for us to enjoy?
One of the biggest problems in our modern, secular society
is disrespect for sex. When God made Adam and Eve male and female, He said
this was "very good" (Genesis 1:27,31, emphasis added
throughout). Sexuality in human beings was not designed to just be okay;
it was designed to be extremely good! And it is great and wonderful when
we use this special gift of God in the way He intended.
God's beautiful picture of sexuality is for us to refrain from having sex until we are married and then to only enjoy sex with the person to whom we are married (1 Corinthians 6:18; Exodus 20:14). Sex was designed by God to be a special pleasure bond to be shared between a husband and wife. By following God's instruction, this act would help husbands and wives grow closer together in an intimate bond, allowing them to have the greatest sex possible and helping them avoid potential dissolution of their marriages in divorce.
It is a beautiful act of love for two people to grow up as virgins (not having engaged in any kind of sexual gratification) and then on their wedding night present their bodies to each other saying, "I loved you so much, I saved myself for you and you alone." This is true love! This is the most beautiful love story of all! And it is the kind of start that can help a couple live happily ever after in a joyous marriage instead of ending in a heartbreaking divorce as so many do today.
But how often do modern songs and movies tell us this story of sexuality? Not often, if at all. Instead, sex today is cheapened and degraded into a casual act for people to experience prior to marriage and even during marriage with whomever they wish. It's commonly assumed that to fully enjoy life, people should have sex with anyone they happen to like at the moment.
The modern "love story" of unrestrained sexual activity has two people on their wedding night saying, "I have loved so many different people before I met you that I think we can have sex without any problem at all. Tonight isn't really that special. And did I remember to tell you? I have a few STDs I'll be sharing with you. They are painful and impossible to cure. They'll be with us for life. But Baby, I really love you. At least right now I think I do and I'm willing to stay with you until someone better comes along."
Which love story would you rather experience? You aren't helpless. You do get to choose. The modern approach of so many is disrespectful of others, disrespectful of self, disrespectful of sex and disrespectful of God. With all this disrespect surrounding sex, it's no surprise that people are getting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), unplanned pregnancies and marriages that soon dissolve in failure.
Given all the confusion that exists today regarding sex, it is important for us to understand some of the most common but mistaken ideas regarding sex. Here are a few of today's myths:
• "People can't help falling in love." We may be attracted to someone at first sight but true biblical love is something that grows. It isn't selfish and is based on respect and admiration for another person's character and godly attributes (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
• "People have to engage in sex." No one yet ever died from not having sex. Awakening sexual activity at the right time (after marriage) is important (Song of Solomon 3:5).
• "If you've already had sex, your life is ruined." God always offers us the opportunity to repent (admit we sinned and live properly). The advice we are given under these circumstances is the same Jesus gave the woman caught in the act of adultery: "Go and sin no more" (John 8:11 ).
• "Everybody is doing it." According to songs and movies one would think this is true. But it isn't. More young people graduate from high school today not having had sex than those who have. And the number of those abstaining is increasing.
As individuals, we choose whether we will live sexually pure lives
or whether we will ignore the instructions that lead to happiness and
satisfaction. Making a commitment to parents, friends and God to be sexually
pure in word, thought and deed is an important first step in living a
full, complete, sexually happy life.
We can determine that we will not use filthy language of any kind—including the type that degrades sex. We can also determine that we will not watch movies with inappropriate sexual content or listen to songs with sexually explicit lyrics. We can determine that we won't bow to peer pressure to go along with those who disrespect sex. We can determine that we are willing to be mocked for our beliefs and that we won't succumb. We can choose to associate primarily with friends who share our convictions. And we can make it our daily practice to pray to God for strength to honor Him in the way we live our lives.
God intends for dating and marriage to be high-class, honorable experiences (1 Thessalonians 4:3-7). Treat sex as God's honorable gift to be awakened only in marriage, and you can reap the sweet reward of a happy, godly life. No explosions. No diseases. No heartache. Just a great love story that can last your whole life. VT
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Keywords: youth and sex sex and youth sex myths sexual awakening sex before marriage
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