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Out of the howling vortex of the sexual and drug revolution of the 1960s rose dramatic forces that have robbed far too many young men in the 2000s of the final remnants of societal and family understanding of true masculinity.
God created mankind male and female, revealing definite functions for each (Genesis 1:27-28). The world corrupted those gender roles, but the last 40 years have particularly hammered young men.
The feminist movement sought gender equality under the law, and this helped spawn a huge increase of women in the workforce. Twelve percent of mothers with children under age 6 were employed in America in 1950. By 2000 it was 64 percent.
Some feminist thinkers proclaimed that the sexes were just the same—that traditional gender roles were shaped only by society's expectations. The idea seemed to be that boys would behave better—defined as more like girls—if they were taught to do so early enough.
This unisex philosophy persists to varying degrees in spite of the ageless observation of the obvious male-female differences and the dramatically increased understanding of brain mapping. God wired male brains very differently from female brains—to equip each for his
or her purpose in marriage, family and life. Yet feminism's philosophers proceeded to make themselves the arbiters
of masculinity.
Modern society's masculinity crisis
Male studies scholar and author of A New Psychology of Men, professor Ronald Levant of the University of Akron cites "a crisis of connection between men and women resulting from major structural changes in women's roles over the last 40 years" ("Why Study Boys and Men?," 2002). He says this has "shaken traditional masculinity ideology to such an extent there is now a masculinity crisis in which many men feel bewildered and confused, and the pride associated with being a man is lower than at any time in the recent past."
The political correctness movement within education takes a serious toll on boyhood and young manhood. One young mother of three rambunctious boys in a small town in Ohio volunteers at her sons' schools. She finds teachers increasingly frustrated with boys because they don't sit as quietly or learn like the girls. She has tried to help by pointing out that, after all, they are boys—and they don't learn as girls learn. We now see almost the reverse of the song "Why Can't a Woman Be More Like a Man?" from the old Broadway musical My Fair Lady.
The hard data about the education of young men is alarming. The Higher Education Statistics Agency in the United Kingdom projected that the percentage of male students in higher education will be only 39 percent before 2010 (Wendy Berliner, The Guardian, May 2004).
In the United States the percentage of male university students is now only 44 percent. This decade-long downward spiral of male education indicates that young men are focusing significantly less on preparing to be good providers for their future families.
Popular culture's entertainment, advertising, consumerism and the quest for "stuff" greatly undermines youthful masculinity. Many seem to have bought into the adage, He who has the most toys when he dies wins. Numerous male studies scholars talk about the delay of emotional maturity in many young men today; some observe that age 30 is the new 15.
The media coined three terms to describe the boy-man consumer groups of the 21st century:
• Metrosexual—a man in love with himself and his urban lifestyle, who is fastidious about his appearance and who gropes for masculine identity based on the judgments of women. The metrosexual spends; therefore, he is.
• Ubersexual—the masculine-appearing, self-focused, media-idol type who exudes opportunistic self-confidence irrespective of female opinion.
• Retrosexual—the macho man of the past, but lacking the outgoing masculine qualities of duty, honor and loyalty.
Do you see the makings of a good future husband and father in any of those definitions? Do you know why not?
Exit the dad
One of the horrific spin-offs of the sexual revolution and the hard-core feminist head games of the past 40 years has been the determined devaluing of the role of the masculine husband and father.
The exponential increase in the numbers of single-mom households over that time represents the results of a tragic Hiroshima of sexual immorality in the world. It gives a new and terrible meaning to the term nuclear family—a family blown apart by a generation of young men who lustfully, selfishly and foolishly abdicated their God-given responsibilities to the divine institutions of marriage and family.
Those males, because they really aren't real men, became the nonsupporting husbands and disappearing dads who sired sons to likewise disappear from the lives of their children. Maybe you have felt the lonely pain of fatherlessness yourself or know friends who do.
Thankfully, some men overcome this negative cycle. Some have realized the importance of loyalty and love for wife and children. Some have eloquently explained how much a boy learns and prizes attention from his dad.
Brothers Conn and Hal Iggulden wrote the current best seller The Dangerous Book for Boys. It is only "dangerous" by today's politically correct, emasculated standard, as it provides a host of practical, hands-on things for boys and young men to do and learn.
Interviewed by a Popular Mechanics magazine editor, Conn Iggulden expressed the brothers' hope that the book inspires fathers to get outside to do and build things with their sons: "Most boys will value something they do with their dad, and they'll have an experience they'll value for the rest of their lives . . . If you show them how to beat the next level on the Xbox, it won't last the rest of their lives" (October 2007).
Where have all the young men gone? They've wandered off hoping to find a real, manly, loving dad who will take them outdoors and teach them good things.
What's your game plan?
What can you as a young man do to develop true masculinity? How can you find the godly way (Psalm 119:9)? Here are a few ways:
Find good role models. If you have a strong, involved dad—great! Love and honor him. If you are not so blessed, find men of honesty and good character in your life and observe them. Learn the good; discard the bad.
Develop honor, duty and loyalty. Be respectful of authority. Cheerfully do your work (and then some) at home, school or on the job. Loyally care for your family and serve God and man.
Build your strength. "The glory of young men is their strength . . ." (Proverbs 20:29).
• Physically—turn off the television or computer and get outdoors, exercise, eat right and soak up the sights, sounds and smells of God's creation.
• Mentally—study hard, learn well and seek true values in your education.
• Emotionally—read history (including in the Bible), read biographies of great men of character, soak up the moral strength of their good examples, learn to suffer patiently and faithfully and learn to laugh joyfully at the right things.
• Spiritually —pray daily to the one Father you can always count on, thank Him profusely for your blessings and ask Him for greater strength of faith to get up and do all that needs to be done.
The lament of "Where have all the young men gone?" will disappear when Jesus Christ returns to rule the nations for 1,000 years and beyond. In the meantime He is looking for a few good young men to dream the dream and see the vision of His soon-coming Kingdom. GN
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Keywords: young men masculinity fatherhood
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