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Defining Marriage
What is marriage? When and how did it originate? Does it really matter?
by David Treybig
My wife and I recently celebrated
our silver wedding anniversary. We've been blessed with two wonderful children, now
grown, and 25 years of marital happiness in what
is popularly known as a "nuclear family."
Looking at the world around us, we find ourselves in the minority. Traditional families
like ours have diminished over recent decades as single-
parent households have steadily increased.
During the social upheavals of the 1960s, some observers predicted that marriage
itself would soon become obsolete. Recent evidence, however, indicates that the number
of married couples compared to singles has stabilized.
But a new debate has arisen: What constitutes a marriage? Courts and legislatures
wrestle with the issue. Some believe marriages between two consenting adults should
be allowed regardless of their sex. Traditionalists view marriage as being, by definition,
strictly limited to the union of a man and woman.
The Importance of the Bible
What is marriage, and is there a tangible benefit to keeping it intact as an institution?
Does marriage really matter?
Our earliest instructions on the fundamentals of the marriage relationship are found
in Genesis, the first book of the Bible. In the New Testament, in rehearsing the
intent and purpose of marriage, Jesus Christ referred to an early chapter in Genesis
(Mark 10:6-12; Genesis 1).
Though the earliest passages of this instruction book for mankind were recorded several
thousand years ago, the Bible has repeatedly proven its relevance and validity on
important issues facing us. (Be sure to request our free booklet Is the Bible True?)
Accompanied by proof, backed up by real evidence, we can have confidence that God's
instructions to mankind regarding marriage and other basic tenets of a godly life
remain our wisest course of action and the best way to pattern our lives. This is
the supreme value of the Bible.
As regular readers of The Good News know, this magazine is dedicated to demonstrating
the wisdom and veracity of the Bible's instruction on many topics ranging from creation
to geology to everyday living.
In this article we turn to the most intimate of human relationshipsthe marital unionand
see that sociologists continue to discover evidence that applying biblical principles
and instructions still leads to marital successthousands of years after those instructions
were first written down for us.
To understand what a marriage is, we need to set aside people's opinions and carefully
examine the biblical foundation of the institution that remains the building block
of any stable society.
After our Creator made the first man, Adam, He observed, "It is not good that man
should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him" (Genesis 2:18). God's
creation of woman was a blessing not only for the first man. The divine institution
of marriageof husband and wife loving and helping each otherhas benefited society
down through the ages.
The woman God created for Adam was Eve (Genesis 1:27). After establishing the exclusive
male-female relationship called marriage, God instructed that the pattern was to
continue: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his
wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). An intimate sexual relationship
was to be part of marriage. But throughout Scripture God condemns any sexual activity
outside of marriage and warns us to "flee" from it
(1Corinthians 6:18-20).
God has never condoned same-sex relationships (Leviticus 20:13; 1Corinthians 6:9-10)
or described them as marriages. Supposedly enlightened efforts to legitimize such
relationships by equating them with marriage are contrary to Scripture.
God Knows Best
Although some may think same-sex relationships are as legitimate and workable as
opposite-sex ones, sociologists confirm that God knew long ago what was best for
mankind. Three researchers from Carnegie-Mellon University recently put some common
assumptions to the test about sex differences in communication.
In comparing the effects of male-male, female-female and male-female discussions,
they found that people listened better to others of their own sex but noted that
"more
emotional support was provided during opposite-sex interactions than during same-sex
interactions" (Mickelson, Helgeson and Weiner, p. 220). In establishing marriage
as a male-female relationship, God gave humanity the best foundation for emotional
support.
From the beginning God intended that couples should not divorce (Malachi 2:16) but
remain together in a respectful, loving relationship for the rest of their lives.
God's purpose was for the two to conceive children and raise a family (Malachi 2:15;
1Timothy 5:14), teach children His ways (Deuteronomy 6:6-7) and grow in love for
each other (Ephesians 5:25; John 13:34) and their Creator (Deuteronomy 6:5; Matthew 22:37) throughout their lives.
Many people either don't know or don't understand God's instructions about how to
live this kind of life. God laments that people invariably suffer when they either
remain ignorant of or reject His instruction. As Hosea 4:6 tells us, "My people
are destroyed for lack of knowledge . . ."
The Good News remains committed
to disseminating this priceless information and instruction, the knowledge revealed
by God that is so obviously missing in the thinking extant in our world.
Impact on Children
Many people readily appreciate the benefits of happy, traditional marriages, and
The Good News frequently offers information on building successful marital relationships.
However, an often-overlooked aspect of marriage is its impact on children, whether
good or bad. Although many single parents do commendable jobs raising their children,
they can never completely replicate the benefits a child receives while living with
two loving
parents in the same household.
Children whose parents have successfully married are blessed with the ideal environment
to grow up in as productive and emotionally stable leaders of the next generation.
From firsthand experience they can learn how good relationships and happy marriages
operate.
In addition to these benefits, a health dividend seems to be an additional blessing.
Marianne Herring says that "children from single-parent homes are 20 percent
to 40 percent more likely to suffer health problems" ("Believe Well, Live Well,
Focus on the Family, September 1994,
pp. 2-4). Successful, enduring marriages greatly benefit not only the married partners
but also the children they raise.
The Bible aptly advises: "Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days
of your vain (temporary) life which He has given you under the sun . . .
for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun"
(Ecclesiastes 9:9).
Remember, marriage is a divine institution designed by God as a lifelong relationship
between a man and a woman.
As I toasted my wife on our wedding anniversary, I was grateful for the understanding
that she and I have received from God's Word that has allowed us to have a happy
marriage. Our experience has proven that God's instructions work and that His teaching
on marriage does not need redefining. Let's be thankful to our great Creator for
this wonderful gift. GN
© 1999-2022 United Church of God, an International Association
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