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It always amazed me when, in her 90s, my grandmother recalled her childhood. She would remember details that seemed impossible to bring to mind.
Sometime I, too, think back and am astonished at the things I can remember about events that happened decades ago. I can remember the embarrassment I felt as a five-year-old at being told to sit on the step at the front of the classroom for talking (and that was more than six decades ago!). Remembering is a wonderful gift.
Sometimes, though, having a good memory can hurt us. We remember things we have suffered or hurts others have inflicted on us. We remember debts people owe and we can have trouble forgiving.
The need to sometimes forget
I recently read a statement from author C.S. Lewis that struck me. He said that when he considers Jesus' instruction to forgive 70 times seven times in Matthew 18:22, he considers it differently than most.
For him one painful experience that he was striving to forgive kept resurfacing because various things, places or little events would remind him of the incident. He likened it to tearing a scab off an old wound. He had to continue to forgive the same deed over and over, each time it resurfaced. Memory can do that to us.
In Matthew 6:3 Jesus tells us not to let our left hand know what our right hand is doing. Physically this is impossible, but Jesus used this to encourage us to do good deeds secretly or privately. His point was that we are to learn to give and then forget that we have given. The only problem is that we cannot deliberately wipe things out of our memory.
It's entirely human to expect something in exchange for our giving. I've known many people who "freely" gave but were angry when not even a note of acknowledgment came in return. It's tough to give and forget that we have given. There seems to be an invisible thread attached to giving that demands a sort of repayment.
What a dilemma we face—to give and forget. Perhaps our problem is in trying to do something we were not created to do—to erase a memory out of our minds.
A lesson in giving
Matthew 25:35-46 records a delightful story that Jesus told regarding giving. He said that He was hungry and some gave Him food, that He was unclothed and others gave Him clothes, and so on. In verses 37-39 those to whom He referred asked when they had done this since they could not recall any of the circumstances. Jesus told them that every time they had done some good deed for a fellow human being, they had essentially done it to Him.
Now they understood, because they did remember the "good Samaritan" deeds they had done for others. It is when we do something because we are ambassadors of the Kingdom of God and we do not expect repayment that we can give and forget.
But God does not forget—and neither, in actuality, do we. Rather, we simply put it onto Jesus Christ's account. In that way it is more blessed for us to be -givers—because God has repaid us many times over.
Put it on His account, and not on the account of those for whom you have done a good deed. Don't wait for the "thank you" in this life—wait for it from Christ. He said as much when He stated that some had their rewards now, but we are to seek rewards in the future (Matthew 6:1-4).
Some, however, expectantly wait for certain blessings from God to come right away because they have chosen to obey Him. Then, when the blessings do not come on schedule and in the form they expect, they feel betrayed or let down. They fully expect God to reward them now for serving Him. They don't know how to serve and not expect an instant reward.
Jesus often made references to rewards God would give far in the future. Matthew 25:35-46, cited above, is one of the clearest. It ought to help us realize that God did not design us to be able to wipe some deed completely out of our memory, because when we come before Him in the future every good deed we have done will be rewarded—down to the smallest glass of water (Matthew 10:42).
Our inner peace comes from leaving the expected thanks or reward in God's hands and not expecting it from human beings. That is not to say human beings do not or will not express appreciation. Anyone —or almost anyone—who is thirsty and received a glass of water says "thank you." Our inner difficulty comes when we expect and wait for the "thank you."
The kind of giving God wants
How then should we live our lives? In Galatians 6:10 Paul tells us to do good "as we have opportunity." Ingrained in our character ought to be a spirit of generosity and concern for our fellow man expressed freely and often as we travel through life.
Jesus' parable of the good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-37) reveals some clear lessons. Here was an opportunity to do good to someone in real and obvious need. Obviously this was not done in secret, but it was done without expecting a reward. There was a need and the Samaritan filled that need. Jesus tells us to do likewise.
In Luke 14:12-14 we read of another statement Jesus made. He said when we invite people to a meal, we ought to invite those who cannot repay us. We should not be expecting a repayment. That is not to say that a simple "thank you" is a repayment—that is simply courtesy. Jesus says that we shall be repaid at the resurrection.
Our focus and purpose in living ought to be that distant future in the Kingdom of God. That is our true goal, and with that clearly in mind we will understand the principle of giving and forgetting.
In Luke 6:38, Jesus stated: "Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you."
What a glorious opportunity God gives to us all—to be more like Him, the greatest Giver of all. GN
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Origin of article "Give and Forget"
Keywords: generosity giving giving and forgetting giving without repayment Lewis, C.S.
Lewis, C.S.: