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Adultery: No
Longer Shameful?
What does habitual and rampant adultery tell us about a person and a nation?
by Melvin Rhodes
Sordid scandals among the elite of
society have dominated the news lately in several countries. It seems that extramarital
relationships and political power go together. Some politicians abuse their position
by taking sexual advantage of others. However, their supposed victims are not always
blameless. To be able to boast of a relationship with a famous figure appeals to
their vanity.
As King Solomon was inspired to write 3,000 years ago, "there is nothing new
under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 1:9). Solomon was an authority on having multiple
bed partners; the Bible tells us that he had 700 wives and 300 concubines (1Kings 11:3).
Solomon might have excused himself by claiming that he was only following the lead
of other monarchs in the Middle East at the time for whom multiple wives and concubines
were a sign of status and prestige. But he should have known better. After all, he
had access to the true God. The Bible also tells us that Solomon's pursuit of many
women of various religions led to idolatry and "turned away his heart"
from God.
More recently King Charles II of Great Britain (1660-85) was publicly known as a
philanderer. He left illegitimate heirs, but no children to take the throne. Charles
had apparently been influenced by the French court of Louis XIV. Like most European
monarchs at the time, "Louis lived an atheist and died a Catholic" (Durant,
The Age of Louis XIV). Religion was not taken seriously, and deathbed repentances
were common.
In contrast, Queen Victoria (1837-1901) was a pillar of rectitude. She was a committed
family woman, remaining faithful to Prince Albert and not even remarrying after his
death. But her son and successor earned a dubious reputation.
Some American presidents have not set a good example of fidelity. A 19th-century
president was known to have had a mistress and an illegitimate child. Recent revelations
show that more-recent presidents have indulged in extramarital relationships.
Some would say that the only difference between then and now is the publicity given
today's leaders. Back then the press kept quiet. As part of an unspoken gentlemen's
agreement, reporters did not betray the dalliances of politicians, princes or kings.
An Age-old Temptation
Adultery is nothing new. Nor is prostitution, commonly referred to as the world's
oldest profession. Throughout the ages men (with the complicity of women) have tried
to justify sex outside of marriage, sometimes even to legalize it.
The early theologian Augustine, who fought a long personal battle with sexual temptation,
taught that the woman was the criminal when it came to adultery, the man being a
mere accomplice.
How should we view public morality? Some think that affairs should be a politician's
private business.
Should society turn a blind eye to sexual shenanigans in high places? Certainly we
shouldn't clamor for every lurid detail. The apostle Paul admonishes us in Philippians 4:8 to think on "whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever
things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and
if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things."
This advice would preclude Christians from focusing their attention on the seamier
side of life and gossip about the rich and famous.
But it still matters. Adultery always matters. Whether the adulterer is John Doe,
a king or a president, adultery matters and adultery is always wrong.
What Does God's Word Say?
Politicians and the public may have varying definitions of adultery. But adultery,
by biblical definition, is the violation of the marriage contract by either or both
partners in the marriage through sexual activity with a third person. The commandment
against adultery should be understood to include fornication (sexual relations before
marriage), incest and male and female homosexual practices, all of which are outlawed
in the Bible.
Adultery is considered such a serious sin by Almighty God that its prohibition constitutes
one of the Ten Commandments. Our Creator says: "You shall not commit adultery"
(Exodus 20:14; Deuteronomy 5:18).
God was and is serious about this sin. In ancient Israel people who committed adultery
suffered capital punishment (Leviticus 20:10). Adultery is described as an abomination
in God's eyes (verse 13).
It is interesting that, whereas some may feel that any sexual activity short of intercourse
is not a sin, the Scriptures show us that anything involving "uncovering nakedness"--for
the purpose of sexual misbehavior--is a sin (Leviticus 18:6-19). Jesus Christ went
so far as to say that even desiring to interact sexually with someone other than
your marriage partner is a sin (Matthew 5:28).
Deeper Dimensions
When we take time to look at the Ten Commandments more closely, we see that in
principle committing adultery is not just breaking the Seventh Commandment. James 2:10 reminds us that "whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one
point, he is guilty of all."
It's no good blaming it on somebody else, either. The same apostle also wrote that
"each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then,
when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown,
brings forth death" (James 1:14-15).
Earlier in the same chapter James, the Lord's brother, said that "blessed is
the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the
crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love him" (verse 12).
Clearly, the matter is serious. Like breaking any of the Ten Commandments, committing
adultery endangers our happiness and jeopardizes our eternal salvation (Romans 6:23).
But why is it so important to God?
Adultery is an issue that comes down to character. God wants us to "be
perfect" (Matthew 5:48), even as He is perfect. God is love (1John 4:8). It
is essential therefore that we learn to love as God loves. God's love is completely
selfless, not selfish. God's love is concern toward others. He does not want to hurt
anyone (Isaiah 11:9). He gave His law to protect us and those around us from harm's
way.
God is vitally concerned about our happiness and wants us to have lasting, loving
relationships rather than pursue self-gratification at the expense of others. Breaking
God's law, or any one of His commandments, results in hurt and pain for all involved--even
the one who might get some temporary pleasure from sin (Hebrew 11:25).
In contrast to what God says, illicit love affairs are often depicted in a favorable
light in films and other entertainment media . Not only do the purveyors of popular
culture neglect to focus on the dark side of adultery as an act of betrayal of the
marriage vows, but they often overlook the dire consequences that follow.
Jonathan Rauch, correspondent for The National Journal in Washington, D.C.,
observed that "adultery represents a serious problem for society as well as individuals
on a variety of levels. Society has a strong interest in binding people together
into long-term couples. Marriage civilizes and settles men (especially younger men),
promotes secure homes for children, helps achieve economic stability for both partners,
ensures that everyone has somebody to look after him or her in times of ill health.
To serve these functions marriages must be durable."
But today's casual acceptance of adultery is the archenemy of long-lasting marriages.
Many Sins Involved
Breaking the Seventh Commandment is a character issue. Not only has the guilty
party broken the marriage vow, but he or she has allowed another person came before
God--thereby also breaking the First and Second Commandments.
This sinful, shameful act also shows no respect for parents and in-laws who also
suffer when adultery is committed--thereby breaking the Fifth Commandment (Exodus 20:12).
The Eighth Commandment has also been broken in that the affection, love and trust
of someone else's spouse was stolen (verse 15).
And the Ninth Commandment is also broken because lying and deceit are involved (verse 16).
We see that at least six of the Ten Commandments are broken in adulterous acts--sometimes
more, if the sinful act should lead to murder (verse 13) or taking God's name in
vain (verse 7), which can be done when people try to justify their sin.
Adultery's Consequences
How can any adulterer ever be trusted on any issue? If so many of God's Ten Commandments
are broken when adultery is committed, then adultery is a major trust factor. The
guilty party has lost the trust of others, not just that of his wife or her husband.
As Jonathan Rauch put it: "An adulterer is a missile with many warheads, capable
of wrecking a series of homes." How tragically true. Adultery has a wide-ranging
ripple effect. It often leads to divorce, which in turn divides families. Not only
are the husband and wife affected, but the children, any grandchildren, parents on
both sides and even society at large.
A recent British survey on the reasons for divorce showed that adultery was the biggest
reason by far, contributing to 31 percent of divorces (The Daily Mail, Jan.
26). Also, in Britain "it's an uncomfortable fact that 50 percent of divorced and
separated fathers lose contact with their children after just two years" (Independent
on Sunday, Feb. 15). No wonder Malachi 2:16 says that God hates divorce.
The verse continues with a strong warning to our nations: "Divorce . . .
covers one's garments with violence." Much of the violence in our society is
the direct result of broken homes--often broken as a consequence of adultery.
God cared enough for Israel's greatest king that, after his act of adultery, which
in turn led to deceit and murder, He sent the prophet Nathan to King David to help
him face up to his sin and repent of it. "Why have you despised the commandment
of the Lord, to do evil in His sight? You have killed Uriah the Hittite with the
sword; you have taken his wife to be your wife . . ."
The result? "Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because
you have despised Me, and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife"
(2 Samuel 12:9-10). Adultery has consequences that can last for generations.
No Exemptions to God's Commands
Not only politicians are guilty. Others who hold high office have fallen victim
to this sin. This sadly includes religious leaders, who know better. They know the
Word of God but sometimes fall into the trap of rationalizing that their supposed
special relationship with God somehow protects or exempts them from the consequences
of sin.
God doesn't see it that way. "The wages of sin is death," He inspired the
apostle Paul to write (Romans 6:23). And "God shows no partiality" (Acts 10:34).
The same apostle listed the qualifications of a minister in his first epistle to
the evangelist Timothy: "A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one
wife . . ." (1Timothy 3:2). Adulterers should not be ordained to
the ministry, and adultery is grounds for expulsion from the ministry. Ministers
"must have a good testimony among those who are outside (of the church), lest
(they) fall into reproach and the snare of the devil" (verse 7).
This is not to say that those who have committed adultery cannot repent and be forgiven.
When the woman caught in the act of adultery (John 8) was brought before Jesus by
religious zealots who wanted to see the full penalty of death carried out immediately,
Jesus defended her by turning to her accusers and saying, "He who is without
sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first" (verse 7).
Because no one was willing to self-righteously proclaim that he was without sin,
everyone walked away. Then Jesus turned to the woman and said, "Go and sin no
more" (verse 11). Although He defended her, He did not defend her sin, and He
unequivocally told her never to sin again.
To those who have committed the sin of adultery, this passage should be encouraging.
Jesus Christ paid the penalty for all human sin--but, on repentance, it is absolutely
essential to cease the practice completely.
This is more easily said than done. Some have a habitual sexual addiction on a par
with heroin or alcohol abuse. The sinner often needs help from others. The ministry
or reliable and trusted personal friends can be of inestimable help, but in stubborn
cases competent professional assistance should also be sought.
No one caught in the grip of sexual addiction should hesitate to seek help. Calling
for assistance is a solid sign of a repentant attitude and a sincere desire to overcome.
Those who are called on for assistance should never look down on anyone genuinely
seeking help nor betray a confidence (Galatians 6:1-2).
Repentance Requires Change
Here lies good advice for anyone caught in the sin of adultery, even prominent
people in our society. When this sinful act has been committed, trust has suffered.
If that trust is to be regained, sincere repentance must be in evidence, as was the
case with King David (2 Samuel 12:13>). "A broken and a contrite heart--these,
O God, You will not despise"--a quote from verse 17 of David's heartbroken prayer
of repentance (Psalm 51).
Although world and national leaders may follow in the footsteps of Kings Charles
II and Louis XIV, their deathbed repentances are not what God wants. It's no use
living a sinful life while hoping to put things right later. God wants a change of
heart now--not only for His sake, but for ourselves as well, individually and collectively.
Solomon wrote: "Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any
people" (Proverbs 14:34). It's difficult for other nations to take leaders seriously
when they are surrounded by sordid rumors. Perhaps many have not really understood
the seriousness of sexual misbehavior. Clearly, our current Western society takes
infidelity far too lightly. This is all the more reason to heed the advice of the
apostle Paul to the Athenians: "Truly, these times of ignorance God overlooked, but
now commands all men everywhere to repent" (Acts 17:30).
The sooner leaders start living by the laws of God, the sooner they and those who
naturally regard them as role models will become the kind of examples Jesus Christ
described: "the light of the world" and "a city set on a hill . . .
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify
your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5:14-16).
©1999 United Church of God, an International Association
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Keywords: adultery temptation commandments
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